Lonely Nights
by mythical-dragon48
Summary: Post ESP - Pre ROTJ.  What is happening to Leia and the Rebellion while Han is frozen in carbonite?
1. Flight from Bespin

Leia was thrown back against the seat as the _Falcon_ warped into hyperspace.

Without Han.

She was numb. Was it really only yesterday that they had been aboard the _Falcon_, just them and Chewie, and she had actually been happy? Was it really only yesterday morning that she had woken up next to him, as she had for the last few weeks of their journey to Bespin? Or maybe it was day before yesterday. She honestly couldn't remember, or care.

A large paw gripped her shoulder.

"Cub." Growled Chewie. She had become quite fluent in Wookie during the three months they had spent traveling to Bespin.

"You need to rest", he said. She twisted around to look at him. He looked – fragile, almost, if that was possible for a Wookie. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes were bleak. Leia knew how much he would be missing Han. They were practically inseparable. She knew she probably needed to rest, see how Luke was doing, something, but she just couldn't do anything. All the princess could think about was Han; hear his screams in the carbon freeze chamber. Her throat was constricted and aching.

"No, I'm all right Chewie," she managed to get out.

He shook his head at her and gave a low growl. "He told me to look after you, cub. If I can't get him back right now, then at least I can look after you. You are _not_ all right".

Leia opened her mouth to protest, but then stopped, instead nodding silently. The Wookie's huge, hairy arm wrapped around her shoulders and gently guided her out of her seat and down the familiar corridors of the _Falcon _to Han's cabin, which she had been sharing with him for several weeks now. Chewie gently sat her down on the bed. Her mouth opened, about to ask him about Luke, but he seemed to read her mind.

"I'll come and get you when he wakes up," he growled softly. She nodded and he left, the door sliding shut behind him.

Leia was finally alone with her thoughts, and it wasn't exactly something she wanted to face. Han's face, right before he was lowered into the carbon freeze, hovered behind her eyelids. His voice echoed in her ears.

" _I love you"._ At least she had told him. But she wished she hadn't waited until the last possible moment.

"_I know". _Maybe some people would think that that was an arrogant, callous thing to say, but it was Han. Those words meant more to her than anything else anyone had said to her in her life.

A strangled sob forced its way out of her throat, choking her. Leia collapsed on the bed. It was still unmade from the last time they had slept there. More sobs worked their way out of her throat, and she stifled a scream. _No, _she thought,_ I won't have hysterics. _With a huge amount of effort, she calmed her breathing and fell back onto the pillow, letting the hot tears run down her face until she fell asleep.

_The storm troopers pushed her and Han into a small room. Leia sucked in her breath. An imperial torture device sat in the center of the otherwise barren room. She was all too familiar with it; it was the same kind that they had used on her when she had first been captured on board the first Death Star. They had moved on to other kinds of torture later on of course – both physical and mental – but the sharp bolts of electricity caused by this one were all too painful to forget. The two storm troopers holding her shoved her forwards towards it. Han jerked forwards with a growl, but his storm troopers held him back. They began to strap Leia into the machine._

"_No!" yelled Han. Leia's head whipped around to look at him. The expression on his face was one of terror – for her? The ex – smuggler continued to speak, his breath ragged. "No. Put me in the machine instead"._

_What the hell was he doing? She shook her head frantically at him. He just looked at her. Why didn't he get it? Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the storm troopers shrug at each other, then she was hauled roughly out of the way and Han was taking her place in the chair. He met her eyes and held them for a split second before she was hauled out of the room._

_The troopers dragged her into another smaller room off to the side. A small window allowed bystanders to watch the torture. She closed her eyes as Vader turned on the machine and Han's screams began. She was trying to run t o him, but the storm troopers were holding onto her shoulders…_

Leia awoke abruptly, with a scream halfway out of her lips before she realized that Chewie was trying to wake her up.

"Sorry", she whispered. "Nightmares".

The Wookie's face was concerned, but thankfully he didn't say anything. "The kid's finally awake," he growled instead. "Thought you would like to know".

The princess nodded and swung her legs out of bed. "How is he?" she asked, worried about what the answer might be.

Chewie let out a huge Wookie sigh. "Not so good. He kept muttering stuff about Vadar, Ben, Dagobah and Yoda, whatever they are, and something about his father. I couldn't piece together much though."

"And his arm?"

"Not so good. No blood, but it's causing him a huge amount of pain, unsurprisingly."

They rounded the corner into Luke's room. He lay on his back in the bed, staring up at the ceiling. She walked over to the side of his bed and looked down at him.

"How are you doing?"

He turned his head to look at her and managed a weak smile.

"Better. That fight with Vadar really took everything I had…"

His voice trailed off, and he swallowed, before changing the subject abruptly. "Where's Han?" he asked. "In fact, what are you even doing here?"

A wave of nausea came over Leia as Luke said his name. Something about his earlier comment about Vadar told her that he was hiding something from her, but she didn't approach it right now. Instead she struggled to answer his previous question.

"Vadar... well, Han got me out of the base on Hoth just before the imps completely took over. Unfortunately, the hyperdrive broke just as we took off. They chased us for a while, but we finally lost them in an asteroid field." Luke raised is eyebrows at this, but didn't comment. "At that point, we knew that we would have to land somewhere to fix the hyperdrive, and the closest 'safe' place was Bespin. Lando Calrissian – the man who brought you in here when we picked you up from under Cloud City – he's an old friend of Han's and ran the gas mine here until yesterday. Vader got here before us though, and forced Lando to turn us over to him." Here she paused, looking at her hands. The memories were too painful to think about.

"That still doesn't explain where Han is, of why Vader wanted you so much." Luke prompted her gently. Leia looked over at him and swallowed.

"Vader wanted you, Luke. He set a trap, we were the bait. Han…" her voice choked up when she said his name. "Vadar was going to freeze you in carbonite, but he wanted to test it out on someone first, so he froze him… in carbonite, Then he gave him to a bounty hunter. We tried to get him back, but…" she shook her head, tears threatening to start again. "We were to late. He's on his way to Jabba".

Luke sucked in a breath. Leia turned her head away to hide her tears. She felt like her heart had dropped all the way into her stomach. Her head hurt, and she had to clench her hands tightly to stop herself from shaking. Hoping wildly that Luke couldn't sense her feelings for Han, she turned back towards him. He stared at his hands, laced together on his sheets.

"It's my fault." The young Jedi said simply.

Leia shook her head. "Luke." Her voice was firm, in total contrast to the turmoil going on inside her head. "It's not your fault. I don't blame you."

"You should. It was me they wanted. I'm thinking that I should actually leave the rebellion."

Leia gasped. "_What?"_

Luke looked at her. "Vader is after me, Leia. He won't stop at anything to get me. I don't want to endanger the rebellion."

She felt a wave of panic wash over her. "_No!_ He's already taken away one person I love – " she realized what she had just said to late and glanced at Luke to see if he had noticed that she had just said that she was in love with Han Solo. Fortunately, he hadn't. She carried on. "He has already taken away just about everyone I have ever cared about. Don't make me lose you too."

He looked at her then and smiled. "I'll see. Where are we going, anyway?"

"The rendezvous," she replied. "If they are still there."

Just then, Lando entered with Chewie. Luke looked at Lando. "Hello. I'm Luke Skywalker. Assuming you're Lando? Leia's been telling me about you." He held out his hand. Lando came forward and shook it.

"Yeah, I'm Lando," he said. "Up until recently, I was the administrator of Cloud City. Chewie's been telling me quite a lot about you. So you blew up the Death Star, hunh?"

"That was me", Luke replied.

Chewie growled loudly. "Sorry, but we are coming out of hyperspace in about 5 standard minutes. Cub, we need you to make sure the alliance knows we are friendly."

She nodded at him, and then translated for Luke. "I'll get a medical team to meet us when we arrive," she told him. He smiled at her.

"Yeah, that would be good".

Turning, Leia left Luke's room and made her way to the cockpit.

General Carlist Rieekan looked out over the crowd of rebels that had managed to make it to the rendezvous. They had lost so many in the battle at Hoth, but thanks to Leia's efforts they had gotten most of the rebels out. He only wished that he had some idea of where she was. Or if she was even alive.

His job today was not a pleasant one. They were holding a funeral service, of sorts, for all personnel who either died or went MIA during the battle at Hoth. He knew a lot of these people personally, heck, Leia was practically his daughter. He also wished he could have Luke back. He was the best pilot in the whole alliance, and Carlist had really liked the boy. Also the smuggler, Solo, was a huge asset. True, he had been leaving anyway, but that definitely didn't mean he didn't want him back. It was hard to live with that large of a bounty on your head, so he did not blame him though.

It was nearly time to start. The rebels' chatter died away, and they all looked up at him expectantly. General Rieekan took a deep breath and began.

"Fellow rebels, we come here to commemorate the lives lost on Hoth, sacrificed for the fight against the Empire. Each one gave up their lives bravely so that we could be standing here today. We thank them for what they have done for us and our cause, and they will never be forgotten."

"We also think of those who have not been heard from, and hope that they are alive and can join us soon. May the Force be with them. A few very noteworthy names are those of Luke Skywalker, our most treasured pilot, who disappeared after the battle. Princess Leia Organa, who stayed with the rebels in the command centre until the last possible moment, thus missing her transport. The last that we have heard from her was that she was going to try to get out aboard Captain Solo's ship the _Millennium Falcon._ We hope – "

Just then a lieutenant ran in. "Sir, there is an unknown ship approaching!"

Before the General could reply, a loudspeaker crackled to life above them.

"Ambassador Leia Organa, code 34156271, requesting permission to land the _Millennium Falcon_ and a medical team"

The base erupted into cheers.


	2. Delayed Arrival at the Rendezvous

**I just wanted to thank everyone who reviewed chapter 1! This is my first fanfic, and I was really nervous about posting it, so that really made my day! 3 3**

**I am trying to update every day or second day, but I still have to do my schoolwork sometimes, so I'll do my best.**

**Ok, now here's the story!**

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><p>A huge crowd of rebels gathered in the main hanger bay, silent, as they watched the <em>Millennium Falcon<em> fly gracefully towards them. Although no one spoke, tension sparked through the room like electricity. The team of medics stood with General Rieekan and other members of high command at the front, their eyes fixed on the incoming ship.

"_Gods, Leia,"_ thought General Rieekan _"Please be alright."_

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><p>Leia looked at the huge Alliance ship. Having gotten permission to dock, now she only had to sit and watch while Chewie and Lando gently maneuvered the <em>Falcon<em> towards the other ship. Probably just as well, because her mind still felt dead. The hollow gnawing in her stomach had only gotten worse, and she had no idea what day it was. At least she had remembered her Alliance security codes.

Lando's voice broke into her thoughts and looking up, she realized that they had docked inside the hangar bay.

"Come on, Your Highness. We've arrived."

The princess felt a sudden urge to grab the controls, turn the ship around, and take off after Han. The Alliance didn't feel nearly as important to her as it had been before her ordeal on Bespin. But she had a duty to these people.

So instead, with a huge effort, she turned her head to look at Lando. He looked older, more worn. There were dark circles under his eyes, and she could almost not believe that this was the same man she had met on Bespin less than a week ago.

She stood up, and staggered immediately. Chewie grabbed her arm, steadying her.

"Are you going to be alright by yourself?" he asked, voice concerned.

Leia nodded her head yes. "Someone needs to carry Luke. And it probably wouldn't be too good for troop morale if two of their leaders turned up at the same time unable to walk."

Chewie grumbled but went off to get Luke. Lando peered at her, worried.

"Are you sure…"

"No," she whispered, "But I can't have a breakdown in front of the rebel forces."

He seemed to understand and nodded, moving out of her way. She took a deep breath before walking out of the cockpit towards the ramp.

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><p>Wedge Antilles stood in the crowd with the other Rogue Squadron pilots. Beside, him, Wes fidgeted nervously. Wedge knew what they were all thinking. Who else was on board the beat-up old ship? What condition were they in? Princess Leia had requested medics, but for who and why?<p>

There was a collective intake of breath as the ramp slowly lowered itself, and the four passengers were revealed.

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><p>The ramp began to lower itself in front of Leia, and the huge crowd of rebels came into view. She gripped Chewie's arm tightly. The Wookie and the girl stood side by side, Luke, who had fallen unconscious again, being carried by Chewie. Lando hung back slightly, as if unsure of himself.<p>

Leia began to descend the ramp, aware of several hundred eyes fixed on her, Luke, Chewie and Lando. Then she saw Carlist Rieekan standing there at the front of the crowd. He was smiling, relief showing clearly in his face. The princess let go of Chewie's hairy arm and ran forwards, embracing the man who had been like a second father to her.

"Leia, we thought we had lost you." He said as they parted, beaming down at her.

She looked away, unable to bear it. How could people actually _smile_ when all she felt like doing was curling up in a corner and having hysterics? Tears threatened to fall, again, and she blinked rapidly. Carlist, mistaking her tears for ones of relief, patted her shoulder. Then she saw his mouth drop open as he looked over her shoulder, and turned around.

A large crowd had gathered around Luke and Chewie. Chewie was lowering Luke gently onto a stretcher, while medics began to examine his arm.

"Dear Gods," he whispered in horror. "What happened?"

Other members of high command had begun to surround them as the medical team began to carry Luke away. Leia looked around at the mixtures of horror and relief on most of their faces.

"He lost his hand in a lightsabre duel with Darth Vader." She announced.

There was a collective gasp. "He… what?" spluttered Mon Mothma, shocked.

"I'm not entirely sure what happened to Luke. He has been unconscious for most of the flight here." Leia replied. Suddenly, she noticed Lando still standing next to the _Falcon_ looking unsure of himself. She beckoned to him, and he came forward cautiously. _Probably worried that I'm going to have the Alliance arrest him for turning me over to Vader, _she thought wryly.

"This is Lando Calrissian, former Baron of Cloud City. He aided us in our escape from Vader, and has proved that he is… trustworthy." She said.

Lando, looking relieved, smiled and held out his hand to General Rieekan, who shook it, also smiling.

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Rieekan said. "Do you plan to join the Alliance?"

Lando's mouth tightened. "That remains to be see. Han…" His voice trailed off.

Carlist suddenly seemed to realize that Han was missing. "Where is Captain Solo?"

Leia jerked back as though his name was a physical blow, giving a little gasp. The tears that had been threatening to fall ever since she had gotten off of the _Falcon _filled her brown eyes, and she turned away to hide them from the crowd.

"I… I need to go and check on Luke." She muttered, turning away quickly and following the medics. Lando quickly turned and followed her, leaving the small crowd staring after them in confusion.

As soon as she was out of sight of the rebels, Leia sank down against the wall and clenched her eyes shut, willing the tears not to come. It didn't work. For a few minutes, seeing Carlist again, she had felt almost happy. Well, happier than she had for the last few days. But hearing Han's name had sent her over the edge again. The princess looked down at her hands, and saw that they were shaking. She dug her fingernails into her palms in an effort to keep them still. There was no way she could have her breakdown here. Gods, where was Chewie when she needed him?

"Leia?"

She looked up. It was Lando.

"What do you want?" she asked him shortly.

"You took off pretty suddenly, so I came to see if you were all right. Judging from your face, I'm guessing you aren't." When she remained silent, he continued. "It's Han, isn't it?"

About to tell him to just leave her alone, something in his expression stopped her. He actually looked… ashamed. So instead she replied.

"Lando, I love him. And I miss him. A whole hell of a lot. I'm in pretty bad shape right now. I honestly have no idea what day it is, or when I last slept. Or ate, for that matter. I'm _definitely _not all right."

The ex – Baron looked at her, surprised that she had just been so open with him. "You know, I never expected Han to ever fall in love with someone," he remarked. "Oh, the girls loved him, but they were never more than one night stands. The only person he ever really cared about or trusted, up until you and Skywalker, was Chewie. Han was a true mercenary; he just didn't have a heart."

Leia almost smiled at that. "I really believed that at first. God, we used to have these huge fights… he was about the only person who could really make me angry by just saying hello. He would tease me, then I would freak out and start screaming at him, and then he would start yelling at me. I think a lot of the rebels actually found it quite entertaining."

Lando gave a low chuckle. "Chewie told me about the Death Star, but he didn't give me any details. I think I would have found it very entertaining too. Now, weren't you going to check on Luke?" he asked, climbing to his feet and offering Leia his hand. She held out her hand to take it, realizing as she did so that her fists were still clenched, and her palms were bleeding from where her nails had dug into the tender skin. Grimacing, she wiped the blood off on the wall and standing up, began to walk down the hall to the med centre. Lando followed.

Chewie was waiting at the door to the med centre. He let out a low whine when he saw Leia.

"Sorry, Cub. I shouldn't have left you back there."

Leia patted his arm. "It's fine, Chewie. How's Luke doing?"

The Wookie barked his distaste. "They have him surrounded with med droids, poor kid. He's still unconscious though."

She took a deep breath. "Shall we go in and see him, then?" Without waiting to see if they followed, she pushed open the door.

Chewie had not been exaggerating when he said that Luke was surrounded with droids. At least five of them, plus about a dozen medical personnel, were crowded around the bed, wielding needles, scanners and various other pieces of medical equipment. Leia was glad she wasn't Luke at that moment.

She grabbed a random medic by the arm as she walked past and stopped her.

"Will he live? Can you replace his hand?"

The medic nodded. She couldn't have been more than seventeen, pretty, with long wavy blond hair and perfect makeup. A wide green streak in her hair marked her as someone who had probably been a bit of a rebel long before she joined the Alliance. Her eyes were dark green and steady as she looked at the princess.

"He will live. The medics are stabilizing his wound right not, and we are beginning work right away on a new hand. He should be coming around soon."

Leia couldn't hide her relief. "Thank you." As the girl turned to leave she remembered something. "What's your name?"

The medic turned to smile at Leia. "Zara Merich, your Highness." With that, she walked back to Luke.

The princess was reminded of the last time she had been in med ward with Luke unconscious. It was now blatantly obvious to her that she had only kissed Luke to annoy Han. The memory actually made her blush, and she saw Lando looking at her quizzically. Fortunately he was prevented from asking any questions by Luke's voice.

"Where…?"

Leia turned and walked over to him, the medics and droids moving aside for the princess and her huge wookie shadow. He smiled at her.

"We made it back to the rendezvous," she told him. "You are in the med ward right now. They think that they can make you a false hand that will feel and look exactly like your real hand. A perfect replica."

Luke nodded. "Yes, that would be brilliant."

The sound of Leia's comlink beeping interrupted them. She answered it.

"Organa here."

"Leia, it's Carlist. Can you and Luke, if he is well enough, please report to high command for a debriefing."

Leia winced. She had been hoping that they could wait until she could have a bit more time to prepare herself to talk about their long absence, but high command did not exactly waste time. She had not really spoken of her trip to anyone yet as the memories were still too painful to bear.

"Leia?"

She realized that he had been waiting for a reply.

"Commander Skywalker and I will be there in 10 standard minutes. Organa out."

Leia looked around and found that Zara was standing at the foot of the bed watching the proceedings.

"Can he be discharged briefly?" the princess asked.

Zara hesitated before nodding. "He can leave for a short period of time, but I would like to accompany you in case anything goes wrong."

Leia nodded and Luke swung his legs out of the bed. He walked out of the medical ward with Zara and Lando. Leia hung back and took hold of Chewie's arm again.

"Stay with me." She whispered.

He nodded, and the strange pair followed the others out of the med centre.


	3. Debriefing

**OK, here's chapter 3! Yay!**

**Thanks again to all reviewers :) It made my day again :)**

**Disclaimer: I forgot to do this but you know - I don't own anything except for Zara, blah blah blah. Now on with the story!**

**Oh, and please review!**

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><p>Around twenty high-ranking members of the Alliance were seated around a long rectangular table in High Command when they arrived. They chatted quietly among themselves but looked up and stopped talking as soon as Leia and the others took their seats. General Rieekan smiled at them, but there was a look of concern on his face that had not been there previously. He addressed Luke first.<p>

"How is your arm, Commander Skywalker?"

Luke nodded. "Better…" He glanced at Zara and she took over smoothly.

"We have stabilized his wound, and the medics have begun to work on making an artificial hand for him." Leia noticed that although her demeanor was confidant, she twirled her green lock of hair while she talked, betraying slight nervousness.

Carlist, seeming to notice this, gave her a warmer smile. "Thank you, Lieutenant…?"

"Zara Merich."

He began to say something else, but Leia wasn't listening. Her thoughts were once again with Han.

_He was being pulled away from her, onto the platform. She locked eyes with him for a split second before finally choking out the words._

"_I love you."_

"_I know."_

_The platform began to descend into the pit. Her eyes did not leave his until he was completely submerged. Hot liquid began to pour into the pit – _

"Leia!"

Carlist's voice, Chewie's growl and his huge paw shaking her shoulder interrupted her memories. The princess realized that her shoulders were shaking and there were tears in her eyes. Blinking them away, she apologized shakily to the General. He and the other people in the room stared at her with worry.

"Leia, dear, are you sick? You are extremely pale," said Mon Mothma. "Lieutenant Merich, could you…"

Zara jumped up, but Leia quickly waved her back down. "No, really, I'm fine," she said quickly. Just, um tired."

It was an extremely stupid excuse, and everyone knew it. Chewie began to growl at her.

"Cub! I know you haven't eaten or slept since we left Bespin. You looked like you were about to faint there. Can't we put this off?"

Lando butted in. "Leia, Chewie's right. Killing yourself is not going to help… things." He said, finishing lamely as he remembered that there were other people in the room listening to him.

Leia looked down. "Look, let's just get this over with. I'll eat something as soon as we are done."

"You had better. If you kill yourself, Han will kill all of us." Growled Chewie.

"And I would prefer not to be killed." Added Lando.

"Afterwards!" She snapped.

Looking back at the other people in the room, she saw that they were all staring at her in confusion. Well, that conversation would have probably sounded _very _strange if you could not speak Wookie.

Before anyone could ask her to translate, she turned back to General Rieekan and forced a small, polite smile. "What was it that you were saying, Carlist?" She said as politely as she could manage.

He raised his eyebrows but did not comment. "I asked if you would please be able to tell me where Captain Solo is currently."

Yet another wave of nausea passed over Leia, and she flinched. Her voice, when she managed to speak, came out slightly strangled. "I believe that it would make more sense if you waited for me to tell you what has happened in the last three months first."

He nodded warily. "If you do not mind then, we will start with Commander Skywalker." Turning to Luke, he officially began the debriefing.

"Commander Skywalker, three months ago you escaped from the battle at Hot with an x – wing and your droid. Could you please tell us where you have been and what you have been doing."

"And where the current location of the x – wing is." Mon Mothma added quickly.

_It sounds like they are cross adults trying to very politely find out where their young charge has been for an afternoon, _she thought. It would have been funny had her mind not been in such turmoil.

Luke stood up and began.

"As you have already said, I left Hoth in my x – wing," he began. "Prior to that, I found out using the Force the location of the last remaining Jedi master, and as he is the last person who can finish my training, I needed to seek him out immediately. I set off as soon as I left Hot, and spent the majority of the last few months training with him."

_Last remaining Jedi? Training for several months? _She thought. _Why didn't he mention this?_

"Can you disclose the name and location of this Jedi?" Mon Mothma asked.

Luke shook his head. "For his safety, I cannot. I'm sure you will understand."

Leia suddenly realized that he was using the Force to convince them not to ask any further questions about this Jedi. She wasn't sure how she knew; she just did, like when they had found Luke hanging under Bespin. She would ask him about it later.

"That is fine then. Please continue." Said Carlist.

Luke gave a wan smile. "Before I could complete my training, however, I had a Force vision showing me Leia and Han in Cloud City on the planet Bespin. I wasn't sure what was happening, but they were in pain, so I took the x – wing and went to Bespin to help them. Unfortunately, I was too late. Han had already… well, I think that it would be better if Leia explained that."

General Rieekan nodded. Mon Mothma was busy writing notes on her datapad. The others in the room kept silent, riveted to Luke's story.

He went on. "Vader was on Bespin. He had already captured Leia & Chewie, and then intercepted me. We… fought. He rubbed his handless arm, pain obvious in his eyes. "He also… attempted to turn me over to the Dark Side, but I refused. He doesn't want me dead, but he wants me to turn over to the Dark Side quite a lot."

Here Admiral Ackbar cut in for the first time during the meeting. "Do you know why he wants you alive so badly?"

Luke shook his head. Leia could tell that there was something that he wasn't telling them, but no one else noticed, so she let it pass.

"No, I have no idea why. I barely escaped him. He had me cornered, and at the last minute I jumped off the edge of the city but managed to grab hold of a satellite underneath the city and hold on until the _Falcon _found me. Unfortunately, I was unable to retrieve the x – wing." He sat down, obviously done.

"Thank you, Commander." Rieekan said. "Now Leia, the last time we heard from you was when Captain Solo commed me during the battle at Hoth three months ago to say that he could not get you to your transport and he would be getting you out on board the _Millennium Falcon_. Where have you been?"

Leia took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment before beginning. "Before I start, please wait to kill Lando until I'm done."

"That would be entertaining." Growled Chewie.

Lando glared at him. "Shut up, you great big fur ball."

Chewie began to reply, but Leia cut him off, aware that they were getting stared at again. "Shut up. Both of you."

They did, and Chewie put his arm around Leia. She leaned into him, and began.

"I stayed in the command centre on Hoth until the last possible minute. Actually, the only reason I left was because Han came back to get me out. That was when I evacuated the rest of the base personnel. Unfortunately, as we were trying to get to my transport we were blocked by an explosion, so Han tried to get me out above the _Falcon._ We got out all right, but we were chased, and the hyperdrive was broken."

Here, multiple people in the room snorted whilst Chewie and Lando looked offended. Leia continued.

"We were chased by multiple Star Destroyers and quite a few TIE fighters. Han led them into an asteroid field, hoping that they wouldn't be mad enough to follow. Unfortunately, they were, but a lot of them died. Han then flew the _Falcon _inside one of the larger asteroids, making them think that we had been smashed. The asteroid…" she trailed off as memories came flooding back to her.

_You're a scoundrel!_

_I am a nice man._

_No you're not. You're a…_

_His mouth against hers, the first time they had kissed._

Once again, Chewie was growling softly in her ear. "Cub? You ok?"

She took another deep breath, trying not to think about Han. "Yes, Chewie. Anyway, the asteroid turned out to be home to a giant space slug that very nearly swallowed us, and we had to leave the asteroid. Han made the Imperials think that we had disappeared by latching onto the ship and floating away with the garbage right before they made the jump into lightspeed.

At that pint, we had gotten away from the Imperials, but we were stuck in the middle of nowhere with no hyperdrive. We were going to have to land somewhere to make repairs to the hyperdrive, as we were much to far away from the rendezvous point. The closest vaguely 'safe'," she put extremely heavy emphasis on the word and Lando looked away, "place was Cloud City on Bespin. It was run by Lando, who is an old friend of Han's. We spent the next three months flying to Bespin, as we could not make the jump into light speed."

Leia's was finding it harder and harder to speak as she got farther along in the story. Her head span, and her hands were getting shaky. She dug her fist into Chewie's fur to stop them.

"Vader… managed to guess where we were going. He got there a few hours before we did and forced Lando to turn us over to him." There was a collective gasp around the table, and the whole room began to look at Lando in horror, then at Leia.

"_You brought someone who betrayed you back to us?" _said Mon Mothma sharply.

Leia raised her chin. "Please let me finish." The officers settled back down, some still glaring at Lando. "Thank you. We spent one night there while Lando's men worked on the _Falcon _before he turned us over to Vader. He wanted Luke, you see, and we were the bait. After he was sure Luke was on his way there, he decided that he would leave Chewie and I on Bespin, as long as we would never leave. Han-" her voice was choked off by a sob, and she stopped speaking.

"Leia?" asked Carlist.

Leia opened her mouth then closed it again and looked at Lando. "Can you…?"

Thankfully, he seemed to understand, and took over. "Han got into some trouble with Jabba the Hutt a few years ago, and owed him quite a lot of money. There was a huge bounty on his head. Vader had a bounty hunter with him. Boba Fett." Here he paused but kept going. "He wanted to freeze Luke in Carbonite, but he needed someone to test it on first, so he used Han…"

Lando continued to speak but Leia had stopped listening. Tears were running down her cheeks again, and she buried her head in Chewie's fur to hide them. Her head throbbed with Han's screams, and snatches of conversation. His face as he was lowered into the Carbonite was all she could see. Her breathing was coming quickly and nausea was washing over her much worse than before. Vaguely, she could hear Lando finish the story, and she looked up. Shock showed on the faces of all present, and fortunately their attention had been diverted from her. It did not last long though.

"Leia, I do believe that you are unwell from all of the stress. You should visit the medical ward, and have a rest." Mon Mothma told her.

"Han," she mumbled. "We need to go after him."

"Leia, Chewie and I can be ready to leave in a few hours. We will send you regular updates – "

She cut him off. "Then I'm going with you."


	4. Farewells

**Sorry this took so long, but it's up now!**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter :)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Star Wars, there would be way more Han/Leia, and way less Luke. Unfortunately, I don't own anything.**

**If you review I will send you virtual chocolate cake :)**

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><p>There was a general roar of complaint at this announcement, but Chewie drowned them all out.<p>

"NO YOU ARE NOT, CUB!" He roared. "I AM NOT LETTING YOU COME! I'M SUPPOSED TO LOOK AFTER YOU –"

Leia cut him off. "And how are you supposed to do that if I'm across the galaxy from you?" She demanded curtly.

This did not calm the Wookie down in the slightest.

"THE LAST THING HE TOLD ME WAS TO TAKE CARE OF YOU!" Chewie howled.

The princess glared at him. "I know it was the last thing he said to you, Chewie. But his exact words were 'Save your strength. There'll be another time. The princess - you have to take care of her. You hear me?' not 'Hey Chewie, lock Leia up in a closet until I get back so she doesn't get in trouble'."

The other people in the room stared at the princess and the Wookie, who stood glaring at each other, neither willing to give in. Confusion showed clearly on all of their faces, with the exception of Lando, who was the only person present who could understand the whole conversation.

"Solo's last words to Chewbacca were 'look after her'?" someone muttered, shocked.

Chewie growled, his voice softer now. "I know, cub. But I owe a life debt to him, and he told me to look after you, so that is what I am going to do."

Leia's voice was calmer now too. "And do you think that I would be able to just sit here and do nothing while you were off looking for Han?"

"The rebellion needs you, cub."

"So does Han. And I honestly don't think I can concentrate on my job if he is missing."

He curled his lip in annoyance, running out of reasons. "We… don't have enough room for you on the _Falcon."_

She stared at him incredulously. "_Sleeping arrangements? _You're telling me that I can't come with you because there aren't enough _rooms? _We fit three people fine on the way to Bespin. You are just running out of excuses."

Behind her, she heard Luke mutter, "This is the _strangest _argument I have ever heard."

Land chuckled softly and replied, "It's weird enough if you can understand Chewie. Must sound like gibberish to you."

Chewie looked slightly sheepish. "Ok, that was a little stupid. But really, you need to stay with the rebellion. They need you."

She started to protest, but he cut her off. "We will come back frequently and give you updates. And as soon as we find him we will come and get you."

Leia sighed in defeat. "You'd better. I'll help you get the _Falcon_ ready."

There was a general sigh of relief from those gathered in the room. General Rieekan stood up.

"If that is settled, then we will do everything in our power to help you get ready. Leia, as soon as you can I need to talk to you about what has happened since you left."

The room began to empty, Zara and Luke to go back to the med ward, Chewie, Lando and Carlist to get the _Falcon _ready and the others off to their various jobs. Leia, about to follow Chewie, stopped when she felt Mon Mothma's hand on her arm.

"Leia, can I speak to you privately for a minute?" asked the older woman.

Leia nodded, puzzled, and Mon Mothma shut the door, leaving them alone in the room.

Mon Mothma had never been one to waste time. She got straight to the point.

"Leia, do you have any… romantic feelings for Solo? Because he is a good man but…"

She froze, and chose her next words carefully. "No… we are just good friends, and he is a great asset to the rebellion."

The other woman looked unconvinced. "You seemed especially upset when you were talking about your time with him."

Leia shook her head. Although it was an outright lie, she couldn't tell the other rebels about her relationship with Han. Not yet anyway. "No, as I said before, we are good friends, and I hate loosing men. Our experiences in Cloud City were also rather… traumatic."

This finally seemed to convince Mon Mothma, and she smiled at Leia. "That is fine then. I was just checking, as a relationship with him would be degrading to your royal status to say the least. I will see you later." With that she left the room, leaving Leia alone, which was probably a good thing as she was about ready to punch the older woman. She took a deep breath and realized that her fists were clenched. Taking several deep breaths, she closed her eyes and slumped against the door.

Chewie was right. The Alliance needed her. But how could she just do nothing while Han was gone?

There was a mirror on the other side of the room, and the princess walked over to it. She looked terrible. Her eyes had huge dark circles under them from the lack of sleep. Her hair was beginning to come down from its elaborate hairstyle, and her clothes were streaked with dirt and blood.

"Your Highness?"

Leia turned and saw that Zara was hovering in the doorway, unsure of herself. She forced a polite smile.

"Yes?"

"Um, General Rieekan sent me to ask you if you could report to the med bay for a check up before you go to see of the Wookie and Baron Calrissian."

Leia sighed. She hated having to have medical check ups. "How long will it take?"

"Only about 15 standard minutes, if everything is fine."

She nodded, and walked out of high command, Zara following. _I hope they are not going to be performing any mental tests on me, _she thought wryly as they walked, _because I'm fairly sure I won't pass._

As if she understood her thoughts, Zara spoke up. "It will just be a physical examination, Your Highness."

Leia gave a small nod in response. "Good. And by the way, please just call me Leia. None of this 'Your Highness' stuff."

The other girl looked a bit surprised. "Yes, Your – Leia."

They entered the med ward for the second time that day. Once again, Luke was lying in a bunk with several medics and droids working busily around him. Seeing Leia, the young Jedi gave a feeble wave. She nodded back before turning to Zara.

"Can we get this done quickly please? I would like to be able to talk to Chewie and Lando before they leave."

She nodded and motioned for Leia to lie down on another bunk, and began the check up. She winced as she saw the princess's numerous cuts and bruises.

"These are really very bad. I'm surprised you haven't been showing that much pain."

Leia shrugged. She honestly hadn't noticed. _Most of them were probably from the stormtroopers when they were torturing Han, _she thought. _That would be why I didn't notice them. _"I've had worse." Was all she said.

Zara shook her head. "You're records do show very high capabilities for withstanding pain." She remarked.

Leia nodded mutely. _If only you knew, _she thought.

"How did you get these?" Asked the young medic curiously.

Answering that would have brought questions that Leia really didn't want to answer. So instead she changed the subject. "How long have you been with the Alliance, Zara?" she asked.

It wasn't very subtle, and Leia knew that Zara could see through it easily. Thankfully she had the tact to pretend she hadn't noticed.

"Only a few months. I wanted to loin ever since I was about 12, but I decided to complete my medical training first." She grinned crookedly. "And my parents weren't exactly very… sympathetic. About the only thing we ever agreed on was the fact that I should be a doctor. We used to have fights all the time about everything. Especially my fashion sense."

Leia actually smiled. "I'm guessing the dyed green streak wasn't too popular?"

The teenager laughed. "No. Neither was my love of miniskirts and six-inch platform stiletto boots. You're all done, by the way. Except for quite a few cuts, bruises and other minor injuries, you're all fine."

The princess stood up. "Thank you, Zara. It was a real pleasure meeting you. Can you comm me when you start Luke's surgery? I would like to be here."

She smiled. "Of course, yo- Leia." With that, Leia left the med ward for the hanger where the _Falcon _was docked.

Chewie was carrying crates of supplies up the ramp when Leia arrived. She swallowed and blinked as yet more tears gathered. She hadn't realized how much she would miss the Wookie. Taking a moment to get herself under control, she walked up to him.

"I still wish I was going with you." She said softly.

He turned and wrapped his arms around her in a huge Wookie hug. "I'll miss you, Cub. Take care of yourself, alright?"

She nodded, and wiped her tears off of her cheeks. There were a number of rebels at work in the hanger; she couldn't risk them seeing her cry. "Where's Lando?"

"He's getting some new clothes from somewhere. It's unbelievable how vain he is. He has been like that ever since Han and I first met him. I guess some things never change," Chewie growled. "Actually, there he is now."

Leia turned. Indeed, there was Lando, striding towards them with a large bag over one shoulder and a smug look on his face. He grew more sober when he reached them though.

"Leia, can I talk to you privately for a moment?" he asked. She nodded. Chewie let go of her and continued putting supplies on the _Falcon_.

"What, Lando?" she asked. He looked uncomfortable.

"Look, I – I know there isn't really anything I can do to make this right, but for what it's worth, I just wanted to say that I really regret what I did, and I really wish you could forgive me. I'll understand if you don't though."

Leia surprised both of them by giving him a brief hug. "Get Han back and you're forgiven." She told him. He smiled at her.

"Don't worry, we'll find him."

Just then Chewie came back out. "We're ready to leave, Lando." He growled. Lando looked at Leia.

"I'll see you in a month, princess. Take care of yourself." With that he turned and went aboard the ship.

Chewie pulled her into another hug. "Don't do anything rash while I'm not here to look after you." He growled.

This time Leia couldn't stop the tears. "You take care of yourself, too." She said, her voice breaking.

"I will. And Cub, I promise we will find Han. And we won't leave you behind for the rescue." He said.

She gave him a quick smile and stepped back. "I will see you in a month then."

Just then her comm beeped. "Organa here."

"This Is Lieutenant Merich. You asked me to comm. You when Luke was going into surgery."

"Thank you, Zara. I will be there in a minute. Organa out."

She squeezed Chewie's arm once more and he whined sadly in farewell before walking back onto the _Falcon_, the ramp closing behind him. Leia brushed the tears from her cheeks and once again set off to the med bay.

A droid was fitting Luke's new hand onto his arm when she walked in. He watched the droids curiously. Leia came over to the bed.

"Does it hurt?"

Luke looked up at her. "Not that much – ow!"

His comm went off. He used his free hand to answer it. "Skywalker here."

Lando answered. "Luke, we're ready for takeoff."

"Good luck, Lando." Luke replied.

"When we find Jabba the Hutt and the bounty hunter, we will contact you."

"I'll meet you at the rendezvous point on Tatooine." Luke said.

"Princess, we'll find Han. I promise." Came Lando's voice.

"Chewie, we will be waiting for your signal."

Leia could hear the Wookie wail another farewell over the commlink.

"Take care, you two," said Luke, "May the Force be with you." He put his commlink down as the droid poked one of his new fingers with a needle. "Ow!"

Leia turned silently and walked over to the full - length window and stared out at the stars. _Han._ She missed him so much. His crooked grin. His kisses. His teasing. She was so caught up in her thoughts that she barely noticed Luke come over and put his arm around her shoulders. She glanced at him. He was looking out at the stars, also lost in thought. She looked back out of the window as the _Millennium Falcon_ warped away.

_The Force be with you, _she silently told them.


	5. Sleepless Wanderings

**Yay! I finally finished Chapter 5! **

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! (And thank you to everyone who did - you are awesome!)**

**Disclaimer: I think it's fairly obvious that it's not mine.**

**Note about Zara - I decided that Leia should have a female friend in this story. Originally, she was supposed to have known her since before Bespin, and was supposed to be there to meet Leia when they first arrived back at the rendezvous. Unfortunately, when I was writing the chapter, I couldn't think of a name for her, so I dropped that idea. I'm pretty hopeless sometimes.**

**Ok. I'll shut up now.**

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><p>It had been a full week since Chewie, Lando and the <em>Millennium Falcon <em>had left in search of Han, and nothing had gotten easier for the princess.

She hadn't slept for more than an hour without having nightmares since Bespin. Se had barely eaten, only a ration bar or two a day if Carlist or Luke insisted. Since that awful debriefing, she had not spoken of the three months they had spent AWOL to anyone. She could barely pay attention in meeting and had lost way more weight than she could afford to lose. Leia knew that everyone had noticed, but fortunately no – one had commented.

Luke was different, too. He was in better shape than her, but he had never gone into details of his fight with Vader. He was less optimistic and talkative. Leia hadn't heard him laugh either. He seemed to have lost the… innocence that he had always had, despite everything that had happened to him.

She currently sat in a meeting with High Command and Rogue Squadron. They were discussing the Rogue's next mission, but Leia honestly wasn't sure what they were talking about. Last night she had been plagued with nightmares for the whole night, and had ended up going down to the hanger and forcing the lieutenant on duty to give her something to do. He had her fixing several damaged x – wings, and the hard physical labor had helped her not to think about her dreams. Consequently she was completely exhausted, but the thought of going to sleep scared her.

With a jolt she realized that Admiral Akbar was talking to her. She quickly sat up and did her best to look like she had been listening.

"My apologies Admiral, what were you saying?"

He looked at her suspiciously but did not comment. "I was asking what you thought of Commander Antilles' idea."

Leia had absolutely no idea what Wedge's idea had been. "Um, would you mind repeating it?" She asked the pilot.

He opened his mouth to comply, but Mon Mothma cut across him.

"Leia, have you been paying attention at all?" She asked sternly. "Can you tell me what we are talking about?"

She opened her mouth to say that she had been listening, but closed it again. By this point everyone was staring at her in concern. She stood up. Mumbling some excuse that didn't even make sense to her, she fled the room.

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><p>Expressions of shock and concern showed on the faces of High Command and the Rogues. A few people's jaws hung open.<p>

"I don't think she has _ever_ been this inattentive," Said General Rieekan when he finally found his voice. "Not even after Alderaan…" he trailed off.

Mon Mothma closed her mouth, which was hanging open, and swallowed. "Does she look thinner to you?" she asked the room at large.

General Rieekan nodded. "I don't think she has been eating much of anything since she came back. I am a bit worried about her."

Mon Mothma sighed and looked at the holomap on the table. "I will go talk to her later. For now we need to continue the meeting without her."

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><p>Leia practically ran down the hall of the ship. When she was a good way from the meeting room she turned into a side passage and leaned her head against the smooth wall. Closing her eyes, she let the faint pulse of the ship's engines flow through her and calm her. A wave of exhaustion washed over her and she pulled away from the wall, shaking her head to clear it. There was no way she would let herself fall asleep in the middle of the hallway where everyone could see her. She rubbed her eyes. Now that she had left the meeting, where could she go? If she had the choice, she would be with Chewie and Lando on the <em>Falcon, <em>but obviously she couldn't. The only place left was her quarters. With a sigh she turned and began to walk towards them.

Her quarters were sparse and barren. White walls, the bare minimum of furniture. Sometime on the way to Bespin, she had come to think of the _Falcon_ as her home, and this just felt like a temporary residence.

Leia sat down on the small bed and put her head in her hands. She was a mess. She could not remember ever being that out of it in a meeting before. Mon Mothma was probably going to kill her. It wasn't right for a high - ranking Alliance member to be this ineffective, not when so many people depended on her. Carlist had told her what a 'huge boost for troop morale' her and Luke's return had been, but she kind of doubted that since Luke was missing a hand and in shock, and she was probably going crazy.

She looked up at the chrono next to her bed, and noted with surprise that it was already very late. _How many meetings did I sit through without paying attention today?_ She wondered. _I'm a bloody mess._

Her eyes were closing rapidly. Not bothering to undress, she fell on top of the covers and was pulled into the depths of sleep immediately.

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><p><em>She stood in the Control Room of the Death Star, surrounded by storm troopers, hands bound. Vader stood next too her. Governor Tarkin stood facing her, a predatory leer on his hawk – like face. Alderaan was visible out of the window.<em>

"_I have chosen to test this station's destructive power... on your home planet of Alderaan." He told her._

_Terror washed over the princess. "No! Alderaan is peaceful. We have no weapons. You can't possibly…"_

"_You would prefer another target? A military target? Then name the system!" He waved menacingly towards the girl. I grow tired of asking this. So it'll be the last time. Where is the rebel base?"_

_Her mind was whirling. She tried not to panic. There was no way she could betray the rebellion, but her home, an entire planet, was at risk._

"_Dantooine. They are on Dantooine." She said softly, practically whispering. Her heart was in her throat and she prayed that Vader wouldn't be able to tell that she was lying._

_Governor Tarkin gave a small, dangerous smile. "There. You see, Lord Vader, she can be reasonable." He turned to the other man in the room. "Continue with the operation. You may fire when ready."_

_Terror dulled her senses; blurring her vision and making her thoughts whirl so fast that she thought she would faint. "What?" _

"_Your far too trusting," Tarkin told her. "Dantooine is too remote to make an effective demonstration. But don't worry. We will deal with your Rebel friends soon enough."_

_She watched, completely helpless as a laser beam struck Alderaan, __and it was blown to billions of tiny fragments, and her heart with it__._

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><p>Leia woke to the sound of someone screaming. It took her a moment to realize that it was her, another to stop herself. She sat up and turned on the light. She was covered in sweat, the sheets tangled around her legs. She looked at the chrono. <em>Damn.<em> Only one standard hour had passed since she had fallen asleep. I was at least another five since the rest of the base, except for those few on night duty, awoke. The princess drew her knees up to her chest and rested her cheek on them, tears running down her cheeks. She remembered the last few weeks they had spent on the way to Bespin, where Han would hold her as she cried, and help her to sleep for the rest of the night. It was in his arms that she finally, for the first time since the destruction of Alderaan, slept for the whole night without a single nightmare. Now that he was gone, they had just come back worse.

Leia wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand and went to fix her hair. Maybe whoever was on duty would give her some more work to do.

Her footsteps sounded loud to her in the empty hallways of the huge Alliance ship. No one seemed to be awake in this part of the ship and the silence was unusual but welcome. The ship felt deserted. She reached out touch the smooth gray and white walls. They reminded her of the calm, controlled shell that she used to use to cover her emotions. Breathing slowly, she tried to get that shell back in place, to be as emotionless and practical as this ship, and managed it until a very different ship came into her mind. It was amazing how much the _Falcon _was like Han. Rough exterior, but unexpectedly brilliant underneath. She smiled to herself. All the times she had blamed the old ship for all of her problems (not that that was that untrue all the time), all the times she had told Han what a worthless scrap of junk it was, and now she thought of it as her home. Strange, how at first she though of Han the same way as his ship, and now she missed him more than anything.

Leia mentally punched herself as she felt the now familiar lump of pain rise in her throat as she thought of the Corellian smuggler. _No. Don't think about him right now. Just go down to the ships and ask for work. Do not think about Han!_ But it was too late. Once again, tears were forming behind her eyes as his cocky grin filled her thoughts. _Stop it, Organa!_ This time, she punched herself in the forehead for real.

"Uh… You Highness?"

The voice startled her, and she swung around abruptly. A familiar looking girl stood behind her looking surprised and confused.

"Zara?"

The younger girl nodded, looking nervous. Leia began to walk back towards her. There were slight shadows under her forest green eyes, indicating sleeplessness, and her hair was slightly mussed as if she had just come from bed.

"What are you doing up?" asked the princess. "And I thought that I had asked you to call me Leia? It's too early for the 'your highness' stuff."

Zara turned the slightest shade of pink. If it wasn't for the bright white lighting Leia probably wouldn't have noticed it. "My apologies, Leia." She told her. "In response to your previous question, I just couldn't sleep, so I was going for a walk. What about you?"

Leia sighed slightly. "I couldn't sleep either. I was just heading down to the main hanger bay to see if there was anything I could do. Physical work helps me to take my mind off… things." As much as she liked Zara, she didn't mention her nightmares to very many people, let alone someone she had only met a week before. Zara gave her an odd look but didn't say anything, and Leia had a feeling that she could understand a lot more of what Leia was saying that she let on. She was obviously very perceptive for her age. _What the hell, Organa. You were younger than her when you were elected into the Imperial Senate. _

"Would you mind if I accompanied you?" asked the young medic.

Leia shook her head. "Sure. Do you know much about mechanics?"

Zara gave a small smile. "I had a friend who taught me quite a bit. My parents never approved, but then they didn't approve of most of the things that I did." She paused, then continued slightly apprehensively. "Um, would you mind me asking why you were punching yourself?"

That almost made her smile. "I was trying to clear my head."

She gave Leia a sidelong glance from behind her blonde curls. "Did it work?"

This time, Leia actually smiled. It was a small, brief smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Unfortunately, no."

They reached the hanger, and she was surprised to see that Wedge was on duty. He came over when he saw her.

"Leia. What are you doing down here?" he asked, startled to see her there. "Do you need something?"

"What are you doing on duty here?" she asked. He grimaced in response.

"Lost a bet. How are you feeling? You looked like you were unwell when you left High Command earlier."

Leia cringed inwardly. Wedge meant well, but she really did not need to be reminded of her near meltdown earlier the day. Also, Zara was looking at her with a medic's concern. She did _not_ want a trip to the med ward right now. "I'm felling much better. Actually, we were wondering if you could give us any work to do."

Wedge raised his eyebrows, but led the two women over a couple of x – wings. "These ones here need a bit of work."

Leia spent the rest of the night working in companionable silence with Zara, each absorbed in their own thoughts.


	6. Conversations

**Ok, here's the next chapter! I quite enjoyed it because there was lots of Zara and Leia briefly yelled at Luke, who I don't like. Anyway, Thanks VERY much to all you AWESOME people who reviewed :)**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEAE review!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Star Wars, there would be waaay more Han/Leia. Unfortunately, I don't.**

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><p>Once again, Leia began the walk from her quarters to the main hanger bay. This had become her typical nighttime routine; sleep, wake up screaming or sobbing from her nightmares, then come down here and do whatever work needed to be done for the rest of the night. It left her exhausted and unfocused in the morning, but at least it stopped her from thinking.<p>

Entering the hanger, she was not surprised to see Zara Merich already there. The young medic had joined the princess in the hanger several times since Leia had first met her in the hallway that night, and she proved to be a good mechanic as well as someone that Leia was starting to think of as a friend. They didn't talk much during the night, but worked easily together. Multiple times when Carlist, Mon Mothma, Luke or some other well – meaning person had dragged her down to the mess hall for meal, they had ended up sitting together and Zara was a very good person to talk to. She was one of the few who didn't pry into things that Leia would rather not talk about, and she didn't treat her like she was made of Mardolian glass either.

Today, she simply ignored the man on watch and went straight over to Zara. She was lying half under the belly of an x – wing tinkering with something. Leia crouched down next to her. "Hey."

Zara scooted out from under the small fighter ship. Her hair was mussed, and there was dust on her Alliance uniform. She greeted Leia with a small smile. "Hey yourself. The main reflux power connecter is completely busted. Give me a hand?" Leia nodded and joined her under the x – wing.

They worked for quite a while in near silence, only breaking it to ask one another for a tool or to hold something. As her body settled into the familiar routine, her mind was left partially free to wander.

It had been a week since Leia had had her breakdown during the meeting, and although she had refrained from doing that since then, she had not become any more focused. In fact, with every day that passed she grew more and more listless.

_Han._ It had been two whole weeks since Chewie and Lando had set off in the _Falcon_ to begin the search for him, and she missed Chewie's support and comfort. But that was nothing compared to the yearning she felt for the man himself.

She now felt like she had a constant lump in the back of her throat, and tears burned behind her brown eyes all of the time, whether she was thinking about Han or not. Whenever she closed her eyes, and a lot of the time that they were open, his face filled her mind, green eyes flashing mysteriously, one side of his mouth quirked up in his trademark lopsided smile. His voice echoed around her head at every silence. She missed his teasing, the huge verbal sparring matches they used to have. She missed him holding her in his arms, mouth crushed against hers, the passion he inspired in her making her dizzy. All she wanted was to be able to feel his rough hands on her back, his arms around her as she slept, him telling her he loved her. She still couldn't believe she had waited until the last possible moment to tell him that she felt the same way.

Leia wouldn't have been surprised if the whole rebel base knew about her relationship with the cocky ex – smuggler, but they all remained happily oblivious and seemed to blame her behavior on post – traumatic stress or something like that. Although, she had seen Mon Mothma give her a few suspicious glances when she had reacted particularly badly to any mention of Han.

Mon Mothma was almost worse than the others. While most of them either would try to get her to talk about the three-month journey to Bespin during meetings, or, like Luke and Carlist, just kept trying to be annoyingly helpful, Mon Mothma would track her down at night or summon her to her office. There would follow up to an hour of the woman telling her that she really just needed to get over this trip, stop feeling guilty about 'that rude, untrustworthy _criminal_ who couldn't even be bothered to join up with the rebellion officially'. Although Leia knew that she was trying to help, these sessions left her feeling angry and missing Han's comforting presence even more.

Luke had been much more withdrawn since their return. He still tried to make her eat, still tried to cheer her up, but he didn't ask for details of her trip and didn't volunteer any of his own. She was curious about what had happened, she could tell that he did not want questions and since she felt the same way she could hardly blame him.

Zara's voice brought her out of her reverie. "I didn't expect you to be like this, Leia."

It was such a random comment that Leia actually looked at her in surprise. "What do you mean?"

The other girl glanced at her. Although the light under the x – wing wasn't brilliant, she could see her green eyes studying her thoughtfully. "Well, I didn't think that you would know so much about mechanics, for one thing."

The repairs done, Leia held the metal plate covering the main reflux power connecter in place while Zara screwed it on. "My father liked me to have a _very _wide range of skills when I was younger. And I spend a lot of time with pilots." _And I spent three months helping Han put the Falcon back together, _she thought, but pushed that train of thought away for the time being. "How else wasn't I what you expected?"

"I didn't expect you to hang out with said pilots, for another. And I guess I just didn't expect that you would be so… real."

Leia slid out from under the ship and offered her hand to Zara. "I wasn't exactly raised the way most royals are raised. Besides, I'm not actually royalty. I was adopted."

There was a brief moment of shock in the younger girls eyes. "I didn't know that."

"Most people don't. I usually don't tell many people." Leia gave her a small smile. "Shall we see what else we can do?"

They spent the rest of the night working in companionable silence on several broken navigation boards and a rather crazy malfunctioning heater, both immersed in their own thoughts.

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><p>Hours and several more meetings in which Leia did nothing but stare into space, she sat in her rooms, staring at a report on her datapad. She didn't have any idea how long she had been staring at the datapad, but probably a while. As much as she tried, she just could not get her brain to focus on the words. A knock on the door made her look up. Expecting it to, once again, be Mon Mothma, she pretended to be absorbed in the report.<p>

"Come in."

Much to her surprise, Luke stood there, smiling. He was wearing his Jedi robes and carried a tray of food in one hand.

"I brought you lunch. Figured you would be working." He sat down on her bed. "You looked like you were expecting someone."

"Mon Mothma. She usually comes by here around this time and gives me a lecture." In truth, she was surprised to see him for more than one reason – he hadn't exactly been very social lately.

Leia went over and sat down next to her friend. She really wasn't hungry, but picked up a ration bar so that Luke wouldn't start bugging her about her lack of appetite. Looking back up at him, she found that his blue eyes were locked intently on her. He looked like he were trying, and maybe succeeding, to look into her soul. It made her slightly uncomfortable.

It was a while before he spoke, and it startled her when he did. "Bespin really was hard for you, wasn't it?"

She shrugged, suddenly wishing she were elsewhere. "Yeah."

Obviously Luke wasn't going to let it rest with that. "Why?"

She shrugged again. Luke could tell he was going to have to work harder than he was to get any information out of her. "Leia, your presence is very strong in the Force. I don't think I've ever seen you this way. Ever since we came back from Cloud City you have been… different." How was he supposed to describe the despair he felt homing from her?

Leia wished he would talk about something else. She didn't say anything. Luke pressed farther.

"You've been unfocused, depressed, the only people you really talk about those three months to are Chewie and Lando. I don't think I have ever seen Chewie that protective of anyone other than Han. All I know is that you left here with Han and Chewie, you spent three months in space without the least bit of contact with me or the rebels, then something happened at Cloud City and Vader captured you." His voice grew gentler. "You know you can talk to me, don't you Leia?" Here he grew very quiet. "Did he torture you Leia?"

_Han. No! Stop! "Take me instead." What are you doing? Being dragged away from him. Screams. Blood. His eyes, wild, as the torture droid began on him._

She physically pulled herself out of the memory and saw that Luke was frowning at her. "What?"

"I felt your terror when I said the word 'torture'. He did torture you, didn't he?" Luke's concern for her was plain on his face. Suddenly she was angry.

"No, he didn't torture me. At least not physically. Now, will you just DROP IT?" she yelled, jumping up.

Luke stood up to, his face gentle, and reached out to touch her shoulder. She pulled away and put her hand on the desk to steady herself. "Leia – "

"No, Luke, listen to me. I'm sick of everyone trying to find out what happened during the last three months. Well, I don't want to talk about it; I don't want to think about it. So will you just SHUT UP?"

A wave of hurt crossed his face before being replaced by the gentle expression. He sat back down on the bed. "Sorry."

She came back over and sat down next to him. They both were silent for a while. When she spoke, her voice was hoarse with pain and exhaustion.

"They tortured him, Luke. Han made them put him in the torture droid instead of me. Then they made me watch. I don't think I will ever forget his screams. Then he put him in the Carbonite. I have nightmares, every night, about it."

Luke was silent, but he looked at her with new sympathy. Then he just put his arms around her, and she let some of the tears that had been threatening to come out. They sat there for quite a while, neither moving, her head on his shoulder, his arms around her as she quietly sobbed. Finally, she drew back, wiping her eyes on her white sleeve.

"I had better get going."

He nodded, and gave her a small, gentle smile. "Me too."

She watched him as he picked up the now – empty tray and went to leave. As he was opening the door, her voice stopped him. "Luke."

He turned. She still sat on the bed, watching him. "Yes?"

Her voice was a whisper. "Thank you."

He gave her a bigger smile this time, then left. She sat on her bed for a long time, thinking.

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><p>Luke thought about what Leia had just told him as he walked back down the hall towards the hangar and the waiting pilots of Rogue Squadron. In a few short sentences, she had told him a whole lot more than she had told anyone else. Obviously, she had become quite good friends with Han on the way to Bespin. <em>Of course, <em>he thought wryly, _it was either become best friends or kill each other._ He felt a renewed hatred flow through him at the thought of what Vader – his _father_ – had done to his two best friends. Whatever torture device he had used on Han had obviously been awful, if it could make Leia act like this just from seeing it used on someone else.

_Unless there is something she isn't telling me._ He thought, but just then he entered the hanger and was pounced on by Wes, Wedge and Hobbie, and pushed the thought away until later.


	7. Meetings

**Wow, I'm on a roll today! Thanks to all who reviewed, you ROCK!**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review! Keeps me on a roll...**

**Disclaimer: My name is not George. It is not mine.**

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><p>It was the day after her talk with Luke, and Leia sat in yet another meeting. The only difference between this one and countless others she had sat through was that with this one, she was actually making an effort to pay attention.<p>

They were discussing possible locations for a new rebel base. Right now they seemed to be favoring a small planet on the outer rim called Karntil VII. Unlike Hoth, It was very dry, but like Hoth, extremely inhospitable. At all times of the year, it was plagued by high winds, reaching up to 400 torapecs a standard hour, and was nearly totally without vegetation or life of any sort. The 'no life' part was good for the rebellion as there was no chance of them being discovered by anyone on the planet, but it also meant that they would have to build the entire base underground, and ground patrols would be hard. Currently, General Madine was engaged in a very heated argument with Mon Mothma, who did _not _think that using Karntil VII as a base was a good idea. Leia hadn't actually come to a conclusion about the planet; making an effort to listen seemed to be the extent of her capabilities at the moment.

Luke's blue eyes met her brown ones across the table. He had been more understanding of her position since yesterday, but Leia knew that he couldn't really know the full extent of her feelings until he knew of her relationship with Han. For some reason, she didn't feel comfortable telling anyone about that yet, it seemed too private.

Finally, Admiral Ackbar intervened between Mon Mothma and General Madine. "This argument is getting us absolutely nowhere. Does anyone else have an opinion? Leia?"

She sat up straighter in her chair while her brain began working extremely fast to formulate an opinion. If she spaced out again, the entire High Command would probably send her down to the med bay immediately for mental tests. "Both Mon Mothma and General Madine have good points," she said, her voice stalling for time while her mind worked, "If we use Karntil VII, we will be fairly safe from Imperials for some time at least. But there is the problem of having to build the base. And we would not be able to run ground patrols. I think that we should stay as a fleet. We have grown quite a lot stronger, and the Empire knows that. We need to make our move soon, and we will be better able to do that if we are more mobile.

General Madine looked annoyed, but Admiral Ackbar was nodding.

"I agree. We are much more mobile like this." He said, looking around at the other people as if daring them to contradict him. Luke stood up.

"The Force warns me that Leia is right. The time to strike will come soon," he said calmly, "I don't know any more than that at the moment though. I would need to meditate first."

_Gods,_ thought Leia, _he sounds so different._ Gone was the innocent, reckless boy she had met nearly for years ago. Now he was more mature, more sure of himself, he thought before he spoke. Then she remembered his antics with the Rogues a few days ago; they had been testing out his new hand while flying. Ok, maybe the old farm boy Luke wasn't _completely _gone.

Mon Mothma stood up then. "I believe that we need more information before we make a decision." She said, looking around at the various officials. Her brown eyes were impassive. "This meeting is adjourned. Leia, Commander Skywalker, I need to talk to you for a minute."

_Damn. _She had hoped she would be able to get away without another lecture. But maybe this wasn't a lecture, as she had asked Luke to stay behind too.

The others filed out, and Mon Mothma shut the door. Luke looked at her inquisitively. She shrugged.

The older woman looked at them both hard before she spoke. "I need to speak to you regarding your behavior since your return."

_Oh shit._ She and Luke traded glances. Mon Mothma continued. Both of you, especially Leia, have been acting very unusually since your return." There was a note of disapproval in her firm voice that grew stronger with every word. She kept going. "Commander Skywalker, you lost your hand, so understandably you would be in a mild state of shock for a short time. But you refuse to tell anyone details of the last three months, you spend much of your time brooding, you seem very cut off from everyone else and you flinch every time Darth Vader is mentioned -" Luke cut her off.

"I can't tell you anything about the last three months for the Jedi masters safety. All I did in that time was train. I can't tell you the particulars of that right now either. As for Vader…" A shadow crossed Luke's face as he said the name. "He told me… things… I need to talk to… people… about."

Leia frowned. So did Mon Mothma. "Can you be more specific, please?" asked the rebel leader, annoyance entering her voice now.

His tone was final. "No."

She scowled, and then turned to Leia. "As for you, you haven't been paying attention, you don't eat, the men on night duty have told me in their reports that you come down there every night and just work on broken machinery for hours. I need to know why, Leia."

The princess shrugged. "The machinery needs fixing." She said softly. _Obviously, my excuses haven't gotten much better since 'my hands are dirty', _she thought wryly.

Mon Mothma was starting to get angry. "Someone else could do that. It's not fitting for a princess to get her hands dirty with equipment at all hours. And as for your attitude…" Leia stopped listening and stood looking out into space, not really thinking about anything. It wasn't until Luke squeezed her shoulder that she realized Mon Mothma had finished.

"What… Sorry." She said, not really meaning it. Mon Mothma was looking at her expectantly. She blushed.

"Did you hear any of what I just said?" she asked.

Leia bit her lip. "To tell the truth, I started ignoring you around 'It's not fitting for a princess to get her hands dirty with equipment'. This isn't a palace, Mon! And I couldn't sleep."

The look of annoyance, which had come back onto Mon's face while Leia spoke was replaced by worry. "When was the last time you slept?"

Leia was thoughtful for a moment. "Do you mean slept, slept for the whole night, or slept without nightmares? If it was 'slept' then last night, if you meant either of the other two, it would have been sometime on the way to Bespin."

There was concern on the other two's faces. "You should use sleeping pills." Mon Mothma told her. She shook her head. She had tried them for a while after Alderaan, but they didn't stop the nightmares, just trapped her in the horrifying images without being able to wake.

Luke was saying something, but Leia wasn't listening. She had started to feel nauseas. The room seemed to swirl around her, and she swayed a little on her feet. Dimly, she felt Luke put his hand on her arm, but it wasn't enough to keep her from falling. Just before she hit the ground the world went black.

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><p>Luke watched with growing alarm as his friend started to sway gently. Putting a hand on her arm to steady her, he saw that her eyes were unfocused. A split second later she fell to the ground in a dead faint.<p>

"What's happened? Did she faint?" asked Mon Mothma with real concern. For all her disapproval, she did care about Leia. He picked up her wrist and gently checked her pulse. It was beating steadily.

"She just fainted." He assured the Alliance leader. "We should get her to the med bay though just in case." Luke picked up the girl and made for the door.

_She really isn't eating enough, _he thought._ I'm sure she shouldn't be this light._ It was true. She weighed almost nothing. Her head lolled back, features for once completely relaxed.

They entered the med bay, Mon Mothma following close behind him. Several medics saw him, and then the whole room converged on them when they saw whom he was carrying. Luke saw Leia's friend, Zara, among them. Questions were fired at him as Leia was taken and put on a nearby bunk.

"She's fine, just fainted, just wanted to check that everything was alright." Luke shouted over the din. Movement slowed and the voices became calmer when they realize that the princess hadn't been shot and probably was not about to die. He came over to her side as Zara gave her a shot.

"Stimulant." She explained in response to his curious gaze. "Should bring her around." They didn't have to wait long. Within moments her eyelids flew open, brown eyes flickering between his blue and Zara's green ones.

"Oh my god," She growled. "I fainted, didn't I?" Zara nodded, and began to scan her with a small piece of medical equipment that Luke could not put a name to. Leia looked around taking in her surroundings, before fixing Luke with her clear gaze. She was amazing, he thought, that she could faint and be so calm immediately upon waking up.

"How many people saw?"

He winced inwardly. "Well, I had to carry you across the base to here."

She flopped back on the pillow with a groan. Luke knew how much she tried to make everyone think she was invincible. Although she hadn't been doing a very good job since their return.

She was looking at Zara now. "What's the verdict?" She asked wearily.

Zara stopped scanning and looked at her, exasperation written all over her face. "Leia, you are suffering from lack of sleep, not eating enough and stress. Sorry, but I don't want you to leave for a little while yet." Seeing Leia's glare, she shrugged apologetically. "I'm going to bring you some food." She left. Luke looked around for Mon Mothma, she too had left. He squeezed the princess's hand. "I'll be back later." With that he turned and exited the room in search of his Rogues.

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><p>Leia swam upwards out of the dark stuff that was clouding her brain. She opened her eyes. She was in the med ward. Luke and Zara stood over her while Mon Mothma stood back a bit farther.<p>

"Oh my god." She growled. "I fainted, didn't I?

Luke told her what had happened. The princess glared at Zara when she told her she would have to stay. Zara shrugged her apology. Luke soon left, and she was alone.

Leia stared up at the ceiling. Gods, why did she have to faint? That surely didn't help her to convince Mon Mothma to leave her alone.

Zara had retuned. She shoved a bowl of soup at her. "Sorry, but I'm not letting you go until you eat something." Leia sat up and took the bowl, but just stared at it. The bed creaked as Zara sat down.

"Why do you do this to yourself?"

"Why do I do what to myself?"

The other girl waved a hand at Leia. "You know what I mean. You are several kilos under average. I know how much you sleep. Why?"

Leia shrugged and took a bite of her soup. It was some sort of broth with vegetables, she wasn't sure what, nor did she care. "I have nightmares. That's why I don't sleep. And don't suggest sleeping pills," she added, seeing Zara open her mouth, "They don't work on me. As to why I don't eat, I just don't get that hungry. What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I know you don't sleep either, unless you're nocturnal. Which is unlikely, since you're usually up during the day too."

Zara smiled briefly, but it faded as she answered. "I have nightmares too. My family was killed in a raid. I was nearly killed with them." Her voice trembled and Leia squeezed her hand.

Just then, alarms started ringing, and a voice came over the loudspeaker. "We are under attack. All pilots to x – wings. I repeat, we are under attack."

Leia put down her soup, jumped up, and ran towards the control room.


	8. Space Battle

**Here it is: My first fight chapter! This was fun. **

**Random note - The title of the story came from Lady Gaga's "You and I." I was trying to think of a title, and I was listening to that song, an I was like, 'Hey! That would work!' so I used it. Pretty random, but I am a bit random sometimes.**

**I also didn't know many of the rogue's names, so I used some random people who I know are rogues but I don't know if they were supposed to be rogues at the time. I invented quite a few random people as well. And I apologize for any mistakes I made during the battle.**

**Thanks SO SO SO much to everyone who reviewed!**

**Freshman11 - I am actually going to do a story after ESB where Leia is pregnant, and I was seriously tempted to have it happen in this story!**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review! Helps me to keep writing :)**

**Disclaimer: I. Do. Not. Own. It.**

**I will shut up now...**

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><p>Alarms blared as Leia sprinted toward the Control room. Rebels ran in every direction, groups of pilots wearing running towards their x – wings, medics towards the hangar and the med ward, various others towards the gun turrets. She caught sight of Luke running in the other direction with Wedge Antilles, but he did not notice her.<p>

Most of the others in High Command were gathered in the Control room by the time she burst in. They were watching the Destroyers as they closed in on the Alliance fleet. Leia quickly calmed herself, letting the Ice Princess mask that she had worn for so long slip back into place.

A swarm of TIE fighters flew out from behind the Destroyers. Admiral Ackbar spoke to the man controlling the intercom, his voice calm.

"Launch the x – wings."

Within moments, the x – wings had flown out to meet the TIE fighters. Leia watched the pandemonium as several ships exploded. She couldn't tell whose. Suddenly, the ship rocked violently.

"We've been hit!"

Most of High Command went flying across the room, except for Leia, who had already grabbed onto the back of a chair.

"Fire on their gun towers on my mark!" She yelled at the lieutenant at the weapons board.

He nodded. She waited until the other ship was just slightly closer before yelling.

"Now!"

Nanoseconds later, heavy gunfire came from their ship. Most of it exploded just to the side of the ship, but some of it hit one of their guns.

"One gun tower disabled, minor damage to surrounding areas of the ship!" The young lieutenant yelled. By this time the others of High Command had climbed to their feet and wisely followed Leia's example, grabbing the backs of their chairs.

Leia glanced at the fighter ship battle. Although it was hard to be sure, it looked like there was more x – wings than TIE fighters. She did not celebrate yet though. The larger ships were opening fire on them again.

"Evasive maneuvers!" Admiral Ackbar shouted. They managed to dodge the majority of the fire. They quickly returned fire, and one of the smaller imperial ships was not quite so lucky. One of their shots hit it's engines, and it just drifted in space, unable to move. Leia watched, tense, as several x – wings closed on three TIE fighters, and chased them until they were right next to the disabled ship to fire. The fighters burst into flames and collided with the ship, the whole thing exploded. Leia allowed herself a small smile as the x – wings dove back into the fray.

Their ship, the largest Alliance vessel, shook violently again as the imperials managed to land another hit. They replied in kind, focusing their fire on the belly of a Destroyer.

The ship-to-ship intercom crackled to life. "Alliance Two to Alliance 1. Please come in."

Mon Mothma ran over to the intercom and began to speak into it. Ackbar continued giving orders in the background. "Alliance 1 here."

"Our guns have been hit and our engines have only quarter power."

"Can you still make the jump to hyperspace?"

"Get behind us. We will cover you. Begin repairs immediately. Alliance 1 out."

Ackbar yelled something at the intercom lieutenant that Leia couldn't hear over the noise of the guns. He obviously did though, because he began to shout instructions into his microphone. She caught the word 'Rogue" but nothing else. It soon became apparent as a group of very familiar x – wings peeled off from the main fight and headed towards the largest destroyer in a maneuver that she had seen them practicing just a couple of days ago. The fear that she was hiding behind her cool mask bubbled to the surface and threatened to break out, but she kept it under control. She knew all of those pilots personally, and Luke was with them. She clenched her fists as her eyes locked onto the small group of x – wings.

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><p>Wedge Antilles jumped into his x – wing at the same time as Luke did next to him. Wes and Hobbie were just behind them, and Tycho, Dak, Kathy, Mich, Kal, Fitch, Collis and Rowly were getting in their x – wings nearby. He started the engine and began take – off, heading out of the hangar towards the open space. Luke's voice came on over the intercom.<p>

"Rogue 1, this is Rogue Leader. Do you copy?"

"Rogue Leader, this is Rogue 1. Right behind you, Luke."

He surveyed the battlefield as Luke checked the other rogues. The TIE fighters weren't anything he hadn't handled before. Heck, after the Death Star, anything looked easy.

Luke spoke to him again. "Target the TIE fighters unless I give further orders. Stay close together. May the Force be with you."

Wedge looked at his screen and spotted his first target. He zoomed in towards it. Wes came up on a parallel course, as if he had read his mind. Together, they fired on the TIE fighter until it exploded.

_One down, one thousand left to go_ he thought grimly.

The rest was a blur. He targeted, shot, dodged, sometimes with others, sometimes alone. Various Rogues cam over the intercom, and Luke was always shouting instructions.

"Rogue 12 to Rogue Leader. I've been hit!" Rowly. He didn't know the man well; he was a newcomer to the rogues. He listened for Luke's reply.

"See if you can eject. Rogue 1, pick him up. Rogue 3, cover him."

Wedge quickly changed his course, Hobbie following close behind. He watched as the x – wing exploded, and looked for the parachute. He saw it for a moment, but it disappeared in the flames. The flaming wreckage slammed straight into a small group of TIE fighters. He spun around quickly to avoid the debris and signaled Luke.

"Rogue 1 to Rogue Leader. I lost him."

Luke didn't reply for a moment, and when it was, it was to relay new orders. "Break off and target largest Star Destroyer. Formation we were practicing yesterday."

Wedge swallowed, but complied, turning his x – wing lightly. He glanced at the others as they sped towards the Destroyer. There were only eleven of them now. He turned around the huge ship, paralleling Luke, dodging in and out, letting off shots here and there. The huge guns mounted on the ship couldn't move fast enough to get a shot at the x – wings, and no TIE fighters had come after them. He grinned to himself. As long as some of them kept the ship busy, the others would be able to go after some very good targets, like the engines, for example.

He let off a shot dangerously near the Command centre of the ship. Immediately, the largest gun turned on him, and he began to weave expertly through the air. On his monitor, he saw Luke and Hobbie darting towards the engines. If he could just keep the main gun on him… He risked letting off another few shots. On the other side of the ship, he saw Wes doing the same while the other rogues weaved around, too fast for even the small guns to catch. Luke and Hobbie were nearly there… just a few more minutes… Damn. His monitor beeped as it detected three TIE fighters peeling off from the main battle. Wedge reached for the intercom.

"Rogue 1 here. Watch out guys, we're about to have company."

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><p>The x – wings circled the huge Destroyer, darting in and out, annoying it, like flies on a Bantha. Leia watched as the huge guns, so good for long range battle against large ships, struggled to fight the tiny ships. Quite a few of the pilots were hitting the ship, and she smiled inwardly as one of them landed a couple of shots very near the Command Centre. It quickly was eaten by the fear in her stomach as she watched several TIE fighters fly towards the x – wings.<p>

The small fighters were no match for the experienced rogues though, and they were made short work of. Tearing her eyes away from them for a moment, she surveyed the main fight. It was definitely looking like there were more rebels than imperials. The Alliance ships had meanwhile moved closer, and they had opened heavy fire on the imperials, which were beginning to have to defend themselves more than attack.

Just then, she saw a large flash of light coming from the large Destroyer, and turned just in time to see the eleven rogues speeding away from the explosion. Although her outwards appearance was still perfectly calm, inside she was screaming, _Yes!_ A lieutenant, watching his monitor very closely, yelled out to the Commanders, his voice laced with excitement.

"They've managed to shoot out one of the engines!"

"Signal the other ships: On my mark, shoot at the crippled ship. Target engines, Command centre and guns. Keep going until they lode their shields." Ordered Admiral Ackbar, voice strong. He waited for a moment, and then gave the order. "Fire."

A split second later, strong laser blasts began to hit the other ship. Crippled, with only one gun left working, they could not hold up against the whole Alliance fleet. The shield became visible for a moment as they crumbled, and then they were gone, leaving the ship defenseless. The rebels made short work of it, and Leia gasped as the entire ship exploded, showering nearby ships with bits of rubble.

The x – wings were definitely winning now, and the imperials were down a third of their larger ships, with another third seriously maimed. They weren't the only ones that were sporting injuries though. One of their smaller ships had been destroyed, and several, like the one they were sheltering, were desperately in need of repairs. Leia knew that they couldn't take the strain much longer. Luckily, she wasn't the only one.

"We need to get out of here _now._ Before we sustain further damage." General Rieekan told Admiral Ackbar firmly. Leia nodded, and turned to the Mon Calimari.

"General Rieekan is right. We have hurt them quite badly; let's get the hell out of here before the same happens to us." Wait, had she just said the words 'the hell' to Admiral Ackbar? _I've been hanging out with too many scoundrels lately,_ she thought to herself wryly. Fortunately, no one seemed to have noticed.

The Admiral nodded. "You are right. Lieutenant, signal the other ships and the x – wings. Tell them to prepare to make the jump to lightspeed. On my signal. We will carry on straight to the rendezvous together."

"Yes, sir."

A minute passed, and Leia returned to watching the space battle.

"They are ready, Admiral."

"Good. Signal all ships to make the jump to lightspeed."

"Yes, sir. 10 seconds to lightspeed… 8… 6…"

Leia felt the familiar tug in her gut as the stars blurred outside the window and they rocketed away from the defeated imperial fleet.

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><p>Leia waited in the main hanger bay as they came out of hyperspace. The medics waited nearby, and quite a few others stood around, waiting for the x – wings to dock. They had not had time to conduct a full list of the casualties, and all she knew about Luke and the other Rogues was that at least one of them was down. She tried not to think about who it was. She didn't think she could bear to loose Luke; he was the only person she really had left.<p>

With a loud creaking noise, the hanger doors opened, and the x – wings began to pour in. Heart in her mouth, she looked around for the Rogues. There was Wedge, looking exhausted, climbing out of his x – wing, and she ran over to him.

"Good to see you again, " she told him. "That was some amazing flying." She swallowed a little before asking him the real question on her mind.

"Who didn't make it?"

He looked at her sadly. "Rowly. I didn't know him all that well, he was new. Luke and the others made it al right. They should be here in a moment."

True to his word, several other x – wings chose that moment to land next to them. Luke climbed out of the first one, and her shoulders slumped in relief. She ran over and gave him a hug.

"Nice flying, farmboy."


	9. Revelations

**Wow. I actually cried when I was writing this. Probably my most angsty chapter yet.**

**Thank SO much for the reviews!**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review! It really motivates me :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own it. I think that would be fairly obvious by now.**

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><p>Leia sat in her cabin, staring at her datapad. The casualty report from yesterday's battle had just arrived. She stared at the list of names, and thought back to Mon Mothma's remark when she had given her the report.<p>

"Oh, well, we only lost 54 members of the Alliance. Not very bad at all."

To Leia, 54 deaths was 54 too many. These people all had families, friends, lovers. She knew exactly how they would be feeling. She was no stranger to death, but it didn't matter. It never got easier. She had never liked some of High Command's members, who only thought of death in numbers.

She shook herself and tried to read the report. Although no – one that she knew well was on the list; plenty of them had spoken to her once or twice. The Rogue pilot, whom she had watched practicing maneuvers with the others. The young man who had delivered a stack of reports to her only a few days ago. The pretty, young pilot who always seemed to be laughing with her friends. The lieutenant who had given her work to do one of the many times she had been wide awake in the middle of the night. She knew little of them besides their names, but each one made her heart feel heavier.

She missed Han more than ever. He had been there for her after Alderaan, when he had found her, crying, in her room, ready to pull the trigger on a blaster pointed straight at her head. Even back when they fought all the time, he was one of the few who was able to comfort her. Now he was gone, and she was left to try and deal with her grief by herself.

The princess sighed, putting the datapad aside. She needed to get out of here. Her head pounded and her stomach lurched. She barely made it to the 'fresher before the contents of her stomach came up. There wasn't much, as she couldn't remember the last time she had eaten. When she had finished, she leaned her forehead against the cool metal of the sink. There was something wrong with her brain. She couldn't think properly. Her thoughts were cloudy, and her eyes were unfocused. All she could think was that she needed air.

Without thinking about it, she rose unsteadily and walked to the door. In a daze, she began to walk down the halls. She wasn't sure where she was going, but she could not stop. The rebels she passed as she walked down the hall stared at her, but no – one tried to speak to her. If they did, she didn't register it.

Now she was in a more deserted par of the ship. Leia stopped in front of an airlock. She had no idea how she had gotten there, but her had was reaching for the controls. Hand shaking, she punched in her code to override the lock. A light flashed green as it unlocked. Now all she had to do was open it. Just one push of a button, a step inside, another button and it would all be over. It was as if her mind had no control over her body. Her hand reached for the button. As she touched it, the door slid open with a soft _whoosh._ She began to walk inside it. _One more button, and then it will be over._

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!"

The voice sounded familiar. She paused, hand outstretched towards the small red button on the inside of the door. A hand grabbed her shoulder and pulled her roughly around. It was Luke.

"What the _hell, _Leia?" he asked furiously. She stared at him. He shook her. "You were about to open the airlock. You would have been killed instantly. You know that. What were you _doing?_"

She just looked at him. This time he slapped her face. The princess barely registered it. "Leia – " He began again.

"It would have been over." Her voice was so quiet that he barely heard her. There was still no emotion on her face, and her eyes still felt unfocused. Luke stared at her.

"What?" he asked, voice quieter now. He stared into her eyes as if trying to see her thoughts.

"It would have been over." She repeated. "All this pain. I wouldn't have had to go through this anymore."

He looked at her. "You would have done it." He whispered in disbelief. "If I hadn't happened to be walking by here right now, you would have actually killed yourself." She was silent.

Luke pulled her out of the airlock, and closed it behind her. She let him, standing there limply. He turned back to face her.

"Why?"

She sighed. It was a while before she spoke. When she did, there was no emotion in her voice. "I can't do this anymore, Luke. I can't deal with all the death." Suddenly, her shoulders began to shake violently. The young man put his arms around her as the tears began to flow violently. Her whole body was shaking, and her breath was coming in short, heavy bursts. Her legs gave out and she sank to her knees. Luke knelt with her, his arms still firmly around her waist. The raw grief threatened to consume her. She wished that Luke had just let her go. She bit back a scream, and found herself moaning his name instead.

"Han." She felt Luke start. It was as if she couldn't stop saying his name. "Han. Han. Oh gods. Han." The sobs came harder, and she buried her head in Luke's shoulder. It felt like there was a huge hole in her stomach, and she felt physically ill.

Leia had no idea how long they knelt there. It felt like hours until her tears finally began to dry up. When they had been reduced to the occasional sob, she drew away and leaned back against the wall. Luke sat next to her.

"You really miss him, don't you?"

She finally said it. "I love him." It was barely audible.

Luke froze, and then turned to stare at her. "When…"

"On the way to Bespin." He sat back, and she glanced at him. He was staring straight ahead, looking shell - shocked.

"Wow. I – Wow. I never thought…" He trailed off, and then put his arms around her again.

"We'll get him back, Leia."

She looked away. "We have to. If we don't, I –" Her voice choked and she couldn't finish. If they didn't find Han, there was no way she would let Luke stop her again.

He stood up and offered her is hand. "Come on. Let's go get some Kaf."

She looked at his proffered hand for a moment as if not entirely sure what to do with it. Finally, she let him pull her up, and stood for a moment, wiping her face with her sleeve. He put his hand on her arm gently and led her to his quarters.

* * *

><p>She sat on his bed as he busied himself with the Kaf. She felt empty, all her grief let out.<p>

"Here."

Luke handed her a mug of Kaf. She frowned at it as she tried to remember what she was supposed to do with it. He sat down in his desk chair and took a sip from his own mug. _Oh, right. That's what you do with it._ She copied him. The liquid was hot and bitter. They both sat for a while, immersed in their own thoughts.

His voice broke in. "So. Han."

"What do you want to know?" Her voice was flat and emotionless.

He was watching her carefully. "When did you realize that you loved him?"

She considered his question, staring into her mug as if hoping that it would supply her with answers. "When… When I kissed you in the med bay on Hoth."

He looked surprised. "Why did you kiss me then?"

She flushed. "I'm really sorry Luke. It was… Well, I thought it would piss him off the most."

Luke smiled slightly. "It worked. You should have seen his face." He leaned towards her. "I'm so sorry, Leia. But we will find him."

She nodded mutely. They were silent for a little longer. She surprised even herself when she broke the silence. "Those three months on the _Falcon_ were the only time I have really been happy since Alderaan."

He stood up and put his now – empty mug on the table. "Well, I'm happy for you two."

She felt a wave of relief. She knew that Luke had once had a crush on her, and she was glad that finding out that she was with Han hadn't hurt him. She stood up too.

"Thanks for the kaf, Luke." He put a hand on her arm as she turned towards the door.

"Are you going to be all right?" He asked, worry in his blue eyes.

She nodded. "I won't jump out of the airlock."

He smiled and let her go. She turned and left.

* * *

><p>Leia stood in front of the mirror in her quarters. It was obvious she had been crying. Most of her eye makeup was gone, her mascara clumped together on her eyelashes. With a sigh, she picked up a cloth and began to remove it. She jumped as someone knocked on the door. Putting down the cloth, she walked over and opened it. To her surprise, Zara stood there.<p>

"Zara?" she said in surprise.

Her friend looked slightly nervous. "I was wondering if I could talk to you for a moment."

"Sure." Leia stood back and let her come in to her quarters. Closing the door, she gestured to the bed. "Have a seat." As she did, Leia returned to the mirror and began to reapply her makeup. "What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Actually, I wanted to ask if you were alright. I saw you and Commander Skywalker walk past. You looked like you had been crying."

Leia sighed as she began to brush mascara over her lashes, but her answer was surprisingly matter – of – fact. "I tried to jump out of the airlock."

"You WHAT?"

Leia put down the mascara and turned to face her friend, who was staring at her with her mouth hanging wide open. "It just got to be too much. All the death. Mon Mothma gave me a casualty report to me this morning, and you know what she said? 'Oh, well, we only lost 54 members of the Alliance. Not very bad at all.' I couldn't believe it. And Han -." She stopped herself and winced visibly. She definitely hadn't meant to reveal that much to Zara.

The other girl realized that her mouth was hanging open, and closed it. "You're in love with Captain Solo, aren't you?"

Leia looked down. If it had been anyone else asking her that – except for Luke – she would have told them they were imagining things. But she trusted Zara. "Yes."

"Were you two lovers?"

Leia smiled sadly. "Yes. On the way to Bespin. I've been in love with him for years, but we used to fight all the time. But when we were stuck on a small ship together for three months, it was either kill each other or become lovers."

Zara was watching her, eyes full of sadness. "What?" Leia asked her.

"You're only a few years older than me, and you've already gone through so much more death than anyone should have to go through in their lifetime."

Leia looked at her. "And there will be more before this war is over." Unexpectedly, Zara stood up and gave her a hug. When she pulled away, she squeezed her hand. "Is that why you have nightmares?"

Leia nodded. "Every night. They tortured Han in front of me. I see it over and over again. And Vader. He forced me to watch when they destroyed Alderaan. Those are just a couple of the most common ones."

Zara hugged her again, and somehow she felt slightly better.


	10. Reunion

**Wow. Mon Mothma is really horrible in this story.**

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**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Review! Make me write more...**

**Disclaimer: Please don't sue me. I don't own anything.**

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><p>It had been two weeks since Leia's attempted suicide, and she had barely gotten any better. She drifted through the hallways, barely speaking, only eating when Luke or Zara forced her to. She had given up on sleeping, and would go straight to the hanger instead of going to bed. The days blurred together. It was only because Luke had told her that she knew that Lando and Chewie were due back any day now. She had stopped even pretending to pay attention during meetings of High Command.<p>

There was only really one thing she knew for certain – when Chewie and Lando returned, she was going with them. It wasn't as if she was actually doing anything for the Rebellion when she was here. A lot of High Command – especially Mon Mothma – would not want her to go, but if she had to, she would quit the Rebellion.

The intercom coming to life startled her out of her thoughts. "Millennium Falcon requesting permission to land."

Leia leaped to her feet and ran for the hanger.

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><p>"Leia – " Mon Mothma began, rising – but the girl was already gone. With a sigh, the Rebel leader sat down again and put her head in her hands with a groan.<p>

"I really wish she would just tell us what happened on Bespin." She grumbled. "She is much to thin, she looks like she hasn't slept for at least a week, and she barely pays any attention to the Rebellion."

General Rieekan nodded in agreement. "I think that I am going to ask her to report to the med bay later on. They might be able to give her medication."

"Actually, I think she's getting better." Commander Skywalker said unexpectedly. He flushed slightly as about twenty pairs of eyes turned on him is surprise.

"Here I thought she was getting worse." General Rieekan told him.

"Well," said Commander Skywalker, rising. "She hasn't tried to jump out of the airlock in the last two weeks. Now, if you will excuse me…" He left the room, leaving twenty speechless Alliance members behind.

* * *

><p>Leia ran down the hall, ignoring the stares of the Rebels. She burst into the hanger just as the <em>Falcon<em> landed. Then the ramp came down, and she saw Chewie. He had barely stepped off the ramp before she hurtled into his arms.

The Wookie patted her head gently, growling softly. "It's all right, cub."

She drew back from him. "Have you heard…?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, cub. We traced Fett's ship to the Miad System, but he disappeared."

Her eyes began to fill again, and she buried her head in Chewie's soft fur again. She had hoped so much that they would have found him by now.

"Princess?"

She turned, hastily wiping her eyes on her sleeve. Lando hovered near them, looking uncertain. "Hello, Lando."

He nodded, a small smile on his face. They were interrupted by Luke, who ran up, smiling. "Chewie! Lando! It's great to see you. Have you heard anything?"

Lando shook his head. "Why don't we just go inside. We can discuss it there."

Leia nodded, and Chewie led the small group up the ramp of the _Falcon._ Leia paused just inside as Chewie put the ramp up and let the others carry on. She put her hand on the wall. Somehow, on this ship, she felt so much better. _I can't believe that I actually think of this as my home now._ She thought wryly. But this ship basically held her most happy memories from the last few years. She closed her eyes and breathed in for a moment, before following the others.

They sat around the small square table in the 'lounge'. Chewie brought them all steaming mugs of kaf. Luke pointed at Chewie and Lando. "Ok, you first."

Lando took a deep breath and began. "Alright. After we left you guys, we headed out to Ord Mantell. We figured that he would have to stop and refuel there. We found that he had been there about three days after we left Bespin. After that, he had apparently been going to Dalamur 3. We still aren't sure why. We followed him there, and managed to bribe the Twi'lek on duty at the spaceport. He told us that Fett had been going to somewhere in the Miad system. We went there, but couldn't find any traces of him." He finished, and looked expectantly at Luke and Leia. "What about you?"

Leia looked at Luke, silently asking him to explain. He took the hint. "The first couple of weeks were pretty quiet. About two weeks ago though, we accidentally had a run in with an Imperial fleet. We managed to destroy several of their ships and quite a few TIE fighters without too much damage to us, but we did loose some of our x – wings. Including someone from my squad. After we destroyed their flagship, we warped away to here. After that…" He trailed off, looking at Leia uncertainly. She knew what he was asking.

"Just tell them, Luke."

He turned back to the others, and she rested her elbows on the table, putting her head in her hands.

"The day after that, I stopped Leia from jumping out of the airlock."

Chewie jumped up with a roar. "YOU WHAT!"

"Why is that everyone's reaction?" She asked of no one in particular.

The Wookie pounded his fist on the table. "WHY?" he growled furiously.

She shrugged. "All the death just got to me."

Chewie sat down, but didn't look that much happier. "Han would have killed me if Luke hadn't stopped you."

"Can we please just change the subject?" Leia asked. She suddenly felt exhausted.

"Fine." Chewie growled.

"Anyway," said Luke, realizing that the mood was really deteriorating, "Since then it's been pretty quiet."

Lando nodded. "We'll just refuel, then, and stock up on rations before we go –"

Leia cut across him. "I'm coming with you."

Chewie did not look pleased. "We had this argument already, cub. It's too –"

She did not let him finish, either. "As Luke just said, I tried to _jump out of the airlock._ I'm going crazy here, Chewie. I would be a lot more help to you if I was with you."

He still didn't look convinced. "What about the Rebellion?"

"They have somehow been functioning without me for the last for months. I'm sure they can continue to do so for a bit longer. If you don't take me with you, I'm stealing a ship and going after him myself."

Chewie exchanged glances with Lando, and then growled in defeat. "All right, Cub. We'll leave in a few hours."

She stood up. "I'll get my things, and tell High Command that I'm leaving."

Leia left the ship, an unfamiliar feeling in her. It wasn't until she had left the hanger that she realized that it was excitement.

* * *

><p>Luke watched the man and the Wookie as Leia left the <em>Falcon.<em> He was the first person to speak.

"She really was going crazy here. She barely slept, only ate when I made her, and couldn't remember anything. It's the only time I've ever seen her not pay attention in meetings. I'm glad she's going with you."

Lando grinned at him. "I am, too. She's good to have around in a fight."

Chewie stood up. "I'm going to go get supplies. Lando, can you go talk to High Command?"

Luke and Lando stood up too. "Sure." He translated for Luke.

"I'll help you, Chewie." Luke offered. The three left the ship, Chewie and Luke for the storage rooms, Lando for High Command.

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><p>Leia knocked quietly on the door of Mon Mothma's office.<p>

"Come in." She called. Leia took a deep breath and opened the door.

The older woman sat at her desk, reading a datapad. She put it aside as she saw Leia.

"Leia?" she asked, surprised.

She didn't waste time. "Mon, I'm going to join Chewbacca and Lando Calrissian in their search."

The shock was evident on her face. "What?"

"I said, I'm going to join Chewie and Lando in their search for Han."

The other woman stood up. "No, you can't! We need you right now. And obviously, you aren't in a good enough mental state to go gallivanting around the galaxy. Now may I ask you something? What is this about jumping out of the airlock?"

It was Leia's turn to look surprised. "Wh – What? Who told you about that?"

"Commander Skywalker."

Leia let off a string of Correlian swearwords that she had learned from Han.

"Leia! That language is not fitting for someone of your status!"

She groaned. Why couldn't this be easy? "I honestly don't care. And about the airlock, I attempted to commit suicide the day after the fight. Luke happened to be walking by, and he stopped me."

Mon Mothma looked beyond shocked. "Leia, dear, what did he _do _to you when you were a prisoner on Bespin?"

Leia didn't respond, but a voice behind her said, "Oh, they didn't do anything to her _personally."_

Leia swung around. Lando leaned in the doorway. He continued, "Only had her lover brutally tortured in front of her and then frozen in Carbonite."

Mon Mothma's eyes bulged. "_Lover?_"

Lando looked at Leia in confusion. Wearily, she explained, "You and Chewie were the only people that knew I was in love with Han. I told Luke and my friend Zara about two weeks ago."

Lando looked embarrassed. "Oh, gods. Sorry, Leia."

"It's fine. They would have found out at some point anyway." She told him, then turned back to Mon Mothma. "_Now_ do you see why I need to go?"

Mon Mothma still looked like she was about to faint. "Leia." She hissed. "I will not allow you to spread your legs for that criminal!"

Leia fixed her with a cool stare. "Han Solo is not a criminal." She told her, voice icy. "I love him, and he loves me. I'm sorry if you don't like that, but it really is not your choice. If you don't like that, then I can and will leave the Rebellion."

The Rebel leader's mouth was hanging open. After a moment, she seemed to realize this, and closed it with a snap. "Did – Did you just threaten to leave the Rebellion if I don't let you go?" She stuttered.

"Yes."

"Well. Ah." Mon Mothma, usually so adept with words, didn't seem to know what to say. "I, ah, guess, you can take a leave of absence."

Leia raised her chin. "Thank you. Now, may I request permission to stock the _Falcon_ with all necessary provisions?"

"Um. Yes, of course."

"Thank you." Leia turned and swept out of the office, Lando following. Mon Mothma sat there for a very long time.

* * *

><p>They hadn't gone very far before Leia realized that Lando was staring at her with his mouth open. She stopped and put her hands on her hips. "What?"<p>

He swallowed. "You were a bit scary in there just now." He told her.

She gave a small smile. "Thank you."

They reached the door and she stopped. "I need to go see Carlist. I'll see you in a bit."

Carlist's office wasn't that far away. She knocked on the door.

"It's unlocked."

_Well, I hope this goes better than Mon Mothma. _She thought wryly as she pushed the door open. When he saw who it was, he got up and gave her a quick hug. "Leia. How are Chewbacca and Calrissian? Have they had any word on the whereabouts of Captain Solo?"

She shook her head. "Carlist, I came here to tell you that I'm leaving with Chewie and Lando."

He looked disappointed. "Really? What brought this on?"

"I'm going crazy here. I need to be able to do something."

He sighed. "Well, I'll miss you Leia. Have you told Mon Mothma yet?"

"I just came from her office. It… didn't go well. I had to threaten to leave the Rebellion."

"Would you have?"

"Yes." She said simply.

He looked a bit surprised by her straightforward answer. "You are very… fond of Solo, aren't you?"

She blushed slightly. "I love him."

Carlist smiled. "I know. I could tell for quite a while before you left. I'm happy for you, Leia."

"I'm just glad you didn't say, 'I will not allow you to spread your legs for that criminal!'"

He raised an eyebrow. "Mon Mothma said that?"

"Yes."

He chuckled slightly. "Well, I wish you luck."

"Thank you, Carlist."

He gave her another quick hug, and she set off towards her quarters.


	11. Falcon

**I'm so sorry! It's been ages since I updated! I have been really busy, but school holidays start next week, so I should be able to update more often :)**

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**Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own it. If I did, there would be no reason for me to write fanfiction because it all would have happened in the films :)**

_It's kind of sad, really, how little stuff I have. _She mused as she shoved her few possessions in a duffle bag. There wasn't much – most of her personal things had been on Alderaan, and it wasn't like she was really able to go shopping with the Rebellion. Basically all she owned right now in the way of clothes were standard issue Alliance uniforms, the dress she had worn at the medal ceremony on Yavin three years ago, and some boots. _Oh well, _she thought, _at least it doesn't take long to pack._ Indeed it hadn't, she had only arrived at her sparse quarters five standard minutes ago, and she was already nearly done.

A flash of light under the bed caught her eye. Kneeling down, she picked the object up. It was a small black holo chip. Curious, she turned it on.

She gave a sharp intake of breath as the slightly transparent image of Luke and Han appeared. They had an arm around each other, and were laughing about something. In the background, Leia could see a hug crowd of rebels. _Must've been taken after Yavin,_ she thought vaguely. Her attention was much more focused on the taller man in the shot. Han was wearing his trademark lopsided grin, and her insides twisted with pain as her eyes began to fill up. Quickly deactivating the holo, she looked at the small chip for a moment before shoving it in the top of her bag. Leia had absolutely no idea where the holo had come from – probably something Luke had dropped at some point – but she didn't really care.

Shouldering her bag, she took a last glance around her rooms, more to check that she hadn't forgotten anything than for nostalgic purposes. The room was bare, not that it was a much different look to the way it was before. Palming the door open, she began to walk quickly towards the _Falcon. _

The princess hadn't gotten very far, however, before she was apprehended Wedge, Wes and Hobbie. Inwardly, she groaned but adopted a neutral expression. "What?"

"We heard you were leaving –" Wes started. Wedge cut in.

"So we thought we'd come say goodbye –"

Hobbie finished off the sentence. "And wish you good luck with finding Han."

She shook her head, the sides of her mouth turning up in mirth. "Luke just can't keep his mouth shut, can he?"

Wes shook his head mournfully. "Unfortunately for people who want their secrets kept, no. But," he continued brightly, "Absolutely perfect for us."

They entered the hanger. Leia stopped and turned to the three Rogues. "Keep an eye on Luke, will you? I really can't trust him not to something insanely stupid when I'm gone. Don't tell him I said that though."

They grinned at her.

"We will."

"We won't."

"I'm not sure about nothing insane, but he won't die."

She smiled back at them. "Thanks. Take care of yourselves." With that, she continued towards the _Falcon_.

A blond figure leaned against the _Falcon. _Leia winced inwardly. She had forgotten to tell Zara she was leaving. As soon as the other girl saw her, she straightened up and glared.

"So, you were going to just leave and not tell me?" She snapped. Leia visibly winced this time.

"Look, Zara, I'm really sorry. I just… Well, you know I haven't been thinking straight lately… And now I can go look for Han…"

Zara's scowl faded to a look of concern, and she hugged Leia. "Yeah, I get it. Sorry for snapping. I really hope you get him back."

Leia stepped back and was startled to see that her friend was crying. "Zara, I'll be gone for two months at the most. We do have to pick up supplies."

Zara, wiping at her eyes, forced a smile. "Sorry. Who will fix all the broken bits of machinery in the middle of the night with me if you're gone?"

Leia smiled at her. "You may have to start dragging the Rgues out of bed. They certainly have enough energy to burn."

The medic laughed. "Well, good luck. Please come back in one piece. And I really do hope you find him. Then again," She continued slyly, "With Solo back, you may not have time at nights to com fix machinery with me…"

The princess gave a snort of mirth, and swatted the other girl's shoulder. "Shut up."

Zara gave her another quick hug. When they broke apart, she shoved something into Leia's hand. Leia looked down. It was a pretty silver bracelet, with delicate chain links. She knew it well; Zara hardly ever went without wearing it. "Zara – I can't –"

Her friend shook her blond and green curls stubbornly. "I want you to have it. Good luck." With that, she smiled at Leia, then turned and left the _Falcon._

* * *

><p>Leia had just put her bags on the <em>Falcon <em>and was going down to find Chewie and Lando when another very familiar blond came running onto the ship. She smiled at Luke as he stopped in front of her, panting slightly.

"Well, you're little unfit." She teased him gently. He scowled.

"I am _not _unfit!" He whined loudly, attracting strange glances from surrounding random rebels. The young Jedi blushed, noticing. Leia laughed softly. Luke looked back at her, also smiling.

"You are in a much better mood today." He commented.

"I'm finally doing something, Luke. Now, why the _hell_ did you tell Mon Mothma about the airlock?" She wasn't really that mad at him, but she still wished that he could keep his mouth shut a bit more.

Luke went the color of a very ripe tomato. "Uh… sorry… I… um…"

She rolled her eyes.

He went a slightly deeper red. "I just got a bit annoyed at them. Sorry, Leia."

She waved it away. "It's fine. Do you have any idea where Chewie and Lando have gotten to?"

Before he could reply, she heard a familiar growl. "Lando! Stop looking at the female pilots and get those supplies on the _Falcon_!"

She chuckled. Luke shot her a puzzled look. "He's telling Lando off for looking at the women." She explained just as the Wookie and Lando appeared out of the crowd, both carrying large boxes.

"This is the last load, then we can leave, cub." Chewie growled to her. Obviously, he was just as impatient as her to get off the Alliance ship and back searching for Han.

Lando shot her a grin. "Hey, I even managed to stock up on alcoholic beverages!"

Leia raised an eyebrow. "We have that much alcohol on this ship? No wonder we haven't defeated the Empire yet." The side of her mouth quirked up. "I can also see that this is going to be a really interesting trip. I'm not sure how happy I am about being in a ship flown by drunks."

Lando looked mock offended. "Some of it is for Han!"

"He'll probably need it. Now go get that box on the bloody ship so we can get going before Mon Othman changes her mind!"

Lando chuckled softly. "I'll start getting the systems ready for take off. Good seeing you, Luke." He disappeared up the ramp.

Leia looked at Luke, swallowing the sudden lump in her throat, which had just gotten bigger. Chewie whined mournfully and grabbed the Jedi in a huge Wookie hug. When he put him, he patted Luke on the head and followed Lando, leaving her alone with her friend.

He grabbed her in a tight hug. She blinked back tears. "I'll miss you, Luke."

"Me too, Leia. Be careful. Contact me when you find him, kay?"

She nodded. "I'll see you in a couple of months."

"May the Force be with you, Leia."

"And with you, Luke."

* * *

><p>Lando was already in Han's pilots seat fiddling with the navigation panel when Leia walked into the cockpit. She peered over his shoulder. "Please don't tell me she's broken. Again."<p>

He gave her a wounded look unnervingly similar to Han's usual response to her jibes at his ship. "She is in wonderful condition. I was just checking her systems –"

Chewie chose that moment to walk in. "All systems should be working normally. I'm getting the co – ordinates for the jump to hyperspace from the computer now. Do we have clearance?"

"Um-"

"Yes, we do." Leia sighed inwardly. Lando was completely hopeless at times.

"Alright. I'm putting in the co – ordinates. Strap in."

Leia quickly did what she was told, sitting down in her usual seat behind Lando, and then finding herself almost wishing she hadn't. Seeing someone else pilot the _Falcon_ just felt wrong. Craning her neck slightly to see around him, she took one last look at the Alliance fleet before the stars blurred and they made the jump to hyperspace.

* * *

><p>They had been in hyperspace for several minutes before Leia realized something, and burst out laughing. Lando and Chewie both twisted around to stare at her.<p>

"What, cub?" Chewie growled, slightly bemused. Leia got her laughter under control.

"Um… I hate to ask this, but where are we actually going?"

Lando looked perplexed. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you told me where you had been over the last month, then I convinced you to let me come with you. I honestly have no idea where we are going."

Lando got up. "I need a drink. Let's go talk about this in the lounge."

Leia lagged behind them a bit. The ship felt – strange – without Han on it. Empty. She couldn't deny that she had missed the old bucket of bolts, though. Swallowing the lump in her throat at the thought of Han, she followed the others into the lounge.

Lando was pouring wine into glasses when she came in. Chewie had begun a game of holo chess against the computer. Leia slid into the chair across from him.

"Wine?"

"Yes. Please." She needed a drink before she started crying. Lando shoved a glass in front of her and she wrapped a hand around it to stop her hand from shaking. Lando sat down too, and leaned forward, putting an elbow in Chewie's game. The Wookie let out a roar of protest, but switched the board off.

"We were thinking that we would go to Ord Zehmli. It's the closest major port to the Miad system, so we were thinking that he would probably head there. I know a few people who owe me favors."

Leia nodded, taking a sip of her wine. She recognized the bitter taste; she had drunk this type of wine quite a lot during the trip to Bespin with Han. _No, wait until later to think about Han. Don't have another breakdown in front of these people. _The three of them sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping at the wine. As soon as she had finished, she stood up.

"I'm going to bed. Chewie, where am I sleeping?"

He looked up from his cup, which he had been frowning intently into as if hoping that it would reveal where Han was. "You can use Han's cabin."

She nodded again, and headed off towards the cabin.

* * *

><p>It was obvious to Leia that no one had been into Han's cabin since they had dropped her off at the rendezvous. At least, no one who had made any effort to tidy up. The sheets were still tangled on the mattress. Han's things were still strewn all over the floor. Then again, the room had pretty much looked like this when Han had been here.<p>

"Cub?"

She turned. Chewie stood in the doorway. "Hey, Chewie."

"Can I come in?"

"Sure."

He came towards her. "How're you holding up?"

She looked down, twisting Zara's bracelet. With someone else she would have lied, but it was Chewie. "Not well. I got really forgetful. I couldn't pay attention to anything. I can't sleep, either. Nightmares. Luke's already told you about the airlock."

The Wookie nodded. "It's a good thing you didn't. Han would have had all of our skins."

Leia's voice shook. "I was so close to actually pressing that button, Chewie. It was completely coincidental that Luke happened to be walking by." She closed her eyes, and her voice grew nearly inaudible. "Gods, I miss him so much. I love him." Chewie had to lean closer to catch the last three words.

Gently, the Wookie put his arms around the princess and drew her close as her body shook violently with silent sobs.


	12. Dreams & Drinking

**Dun dun dun DUN! Chapter 12!**

**Ok, a note about the dream - That whole section I wrote at 3 am after waking up from that exact same nightmare, which I basically just wrote down, just changing a few lines and changed myself to Leia and my best friend, who was killed, to Han, and the random psychopaths to Vader and the stormtroopers. And I made it slightly less violent - it's only a K+ rated story!**

**Thank you SO SO SO much to all who reviewed - Even though I haven't updated in a while, I checked for reviews every day and they made me extremely happy.**

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review - make me happy!**

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><p><em>Running. Terror. Shadows. The sun beats down on her. Her panting sobs echo in her ears as she stumbles over a pile of leaves. She twists around, for a brief moment, and a fresh wave of terror washes over her. An entire garrison of stormtroopers was pouring out of the white building behind her. Vaguely, she knew she was on Alderaan, but for some reason it didn't seem important. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a flash of black that seemed to suck all of the heat out of the day. She was still sprinting, ducking under the low branches. As she looked up, she caught sight of a man leaning against a fence in front of her. He was quite far ahead of her, but she would have known that figure, the way he leaned against the fence, the untidy hair, the white shirt and black vest from much farther away then this. <em>

_Leia opened her mouth, screaming at him to run, but he didn't hear her. Instead he stepped forwards, smiling crookedly, and spread his arms, almost as if he was giving the stormtroopers a better target, as if he wanted to be shot. She watched, helpless, in terror, as the first blaster bolt hit him in the stomach. Han's grin only grew wider though, as his body was filled by blaster shots. He looked up, at the blazing sun, and laughed as the final bolt pierced his neck. She began to run again as he fell slowly to the ground. The stormtroopers and Vader disappeared, and all that was important was Han._

_It seemed like a lifetime before she was at his side, couching in the rich green grass next to him. One look told her that there was nothing, not bacta tank, no medical droid, that could do anything about his wounds. Suddenly, his hazel eyes opened, and focused on her. Tears poured down her face as he slowly grinned at her, blurring his face._

"_Why?" She whispered. Her voice sounded foreign to her own ears._

_He squeezed her small hand with one of his large ones. "There was nothing you could have done, sweetheart." His voice was soft. "They would have killed you." The flecks of gold in his hazel eyes shone in the light._

"_I love you." She told him softly. Her breath was catching in her throat, and she could no longer see clearly._

_He closed his eyes, rolling his head so that he was once again facing the sky. "I know." His voice was raspy._

_A shadow fell across them then, and she looked up to see Vader standing above them. He knelt by Han's body and put a blaster in her hand, surprisingly gently. For once, she didn't have a retort._

"_Kill him." His voice was calm._

_She shook her head. "No."_

_He put one gloved hand on Han's neck. "It is the merciful thing to do. The poison in these bolts will keep him alive for days, in such pain that he will gouge his eyes out. You have to kill him."_

_She shook her head harder, pulling away from him, dragging Han's body with her. "No. I won't hurt him."_

_The Sith lord stood up, blocking the sunlight. "My dear girl. You already have." He told her. "You already have."_

* * *

><p>Leia Organa woke with a start, sucking in a breath. She glanced wildly around the room, trying to get her bearings. <em>The Falcon, not Alderaan, <em>she thought to herself, relaxing slightly. She glanced at the chrono. Chewie had only left her less than two hours ago. _Damn. _She had half – hoped that being on the _Falcon_ would offer her a relief from the constant nightmares, but they were obviously were just getting worse. Swinging her legs off of the side of the bed, she put her head in her hands, trying to ignore the hollow terror gnawing at her stomach. Although the princess often had nightmares, they usually weren't like _that. _Mostly in her sleep she was forced to relive events from her past with brutal clarity. Never before had she actually had one that was completely unrealistic.

Standing, she went over to the 'fresher. Catching sight of her reflection in the mirror, she winced. Her hair was a mess, straggling down her back. Her face was pale and completely devoid of any signs of make – up. Yanking her clothes off, she left them in a pile in the middle of the floor and stepped into the shower, letting the scalding hot water wash over her. Try as she might though, she couldn't shake the feeling of abject terror she had felt, and also something else. Confusion.

What had Vader meant, 'You already have'? Unfortunately, she had the feeling that she knew exactly what he had meant. Wasn't it all her fault, her fault that Alderaan was gone, her fault that Han was frozen in Carbonite, possibly already dead? _No, _the more decisive part of her brain said firmly. _He isn't dead. He can't be._

_But what if he is?_ The more pessimistic part of her mind whispered back. _And what if it all is your fault?_ Leia sank down onto the smooth floor, drawing her knees to her chest and burying her head in her hands, trying to stop the headache brought on by nerves and lack of sleep. Then Han's voice echoed in her mind.

_There was nothing you could have done, sweetheart. _She remembered when he had said that – when she had woken up one night on the way to Bespin, screaming, and he had comforted her, holding her for hours until she had stopped sobbing. He hadn't been the first to say that to her – Luke, Rieekan, Mon Mothma, her psychologist – all had told her that numerous times. But from Han it was different. He was so often teasing, that she knew when he wasn't, he really meant it. Her tired brain was not entirely sure if that made sense, but she trusted Han's judgment more than anyone else's in the world. For a moment she wondered what her father would have thought of that. Surprisingly, the thought, despite the fact that it contained the two people she missed most in the world, made the corners of her red mouth turn up.

Her father would have been completely and totally shocked at first, but he would probably have liked Han. Her aunts and most of the various other people that had raised her would have been completely shocked. Leia smiled to herself. She could imagine her aunts, yelling shrilly at her, about how degrading it was for the High Princess of Alderaan to even be on speaking terms with a smuggler. In fact, their reaction probably would have been very similar to Mon Mothma's.

With a jolt, she realized two things: that she had nearly forgotten her dream – almost, but not quite. There was still a slightly sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. The other thing was that she was probably using up all of the hot water. With a sigh – she would have liked to stay in there for hours - she left the 'fresher. Maybe Chewie or Lando would be up.

* * *

><p>Lando was staring intently into his fifth cup of wine when he heard Chewie return from comforting the princess. The Wookie plonked himself down in front of him and began to stare into his mug as well, taking occasional sips. Neither of them spoke for quite some time.<p>

When Lando finally broke the silence, his voice was slurred. "Ho'thuh princess holdin'up?" Chewie gave him a look. Lando made an effort to make his words clearer. "How – is Leia holding up?"

His old friend growled softly. "I wouldn't say great."

"Huh." Lando was now frowning at the table, concentrating hard. His concentration was only broken when Chewie smacked the back of his head, making his face plant painfully into the table. He came up angrily. "What was that for?"

"I needed your attention."

"Huh." He repeated. "Why?"

Chewie shrugged. "We should have a conversation instead of just sitting here."

Lando fixed him with a glare that would have been a lot more intimidating were he not drunk. "That's why you slammed Lando's head into the table?"

Chewie looked mildly concerned. "I see you're talking about yourself in third person now."

"Oh shut up, you walking carpet." Lando told him.

Chewie gave a Wookie grin. "That was the first thing she ever said."

Lando was confused. "Who?"

"Han."

That hadn't helped in the slightest. "You just said 'she'."

"I meant that was one of the first things she ever said to Han." Chewie took another gulp from his mug, draining it.

Feeling slightly mystified, he asked, "Someone told Han he was a walking carpet?" He grabbed the wine bottle and sloshed some more wine into their cups.

Chewie growled, shaking his head in annoyance. "No! When we first met Leia, we were rescuing her from the first Death Star. She told Han to 'get that walking carpet out of the way'."

Lando snorted, raising his cup to the Wookie. "Very romantic."

Chewie laughed. "It took them three years to get up to the point where they could have a civilized conversation."

Lando nodded. "So she isn't doing well?"

"No. She wasn't even like this after Alderaan."

"She's been through way to much."

"She has."

They sat in silence for a little while longer. Once again, Lando was the one to break it. "We'll find him, buddy. I owe it to him. To her. To everyone."

Chewie growled in reply. "If it's the last thing I do." Lando nodded solemnly in return.

The Wookie yawned. "I need to crash. And within seconds, he was snoring loudly.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew that he should go to his cabin, but he could not be bothered. Leaning back, he closed his eyes.

* * *

><p>Once Leia had done her hair and dressed, she left the cabin in search of kaf. Entering the lounge, she paused for a moment in surprise, and then grinned. Lando and Chewie both were sound asleep and snoring at the table, an empty bottle of wine and two abandoned mugs on the table in front of them. Walking silently past, she made kaf as quietly as possible before taking her hot mug into the cockpit.<p>

Leia sat curled in Han's chair, sipping the boiling liquid slowly and watching the stars as they sped by, so fast they were blurs of light. Se remembered the last time she had done this – less than two months ago, but Han had been there, and they had talked. She told him stories about growing up an Alderaan, while he in return regaled her with tales of his many narrow escapes that he had made with Chewie and the _Falcon_, all in his slightly cocky drawl that had once so annoyed her. That made her smile, though very sadly. Why was it that when he was there, when they had first met on the Death Star, all she had wanted was to get as far away from his swaggering, teasing self, and now all she wanted was to have him back? Why the _hell_ hadn't she realized she loved him sooner? They could have had so much more time together.

She shook her head firmly. _No use thinking about that, Organa._ She told herself. _Just worry about getting him back, and then you can have all the time you need._ That thought made her smirk; unless they defeated the Empire very soon, that time would probably be _very_ limited.

Vaguely, she wandered how the Rebellion was doing. She wondered if Mon Mothma had spread the word that she was with Han, or if she had still been too stunned. Probably the latter. Her thoughts drifted to Zara, and she fingered the silver bracelet absentmindedly. Most of all, she thought about Luke. He was one of the most important people in her life, and he had been acting so strangely lately… Naïve one minute, comforting the next, then completely shut down and far off. And how had she known where to find him on Bespin – no, no use thinking about that now. She made a mental note to ask him about that when she next saw him, and let her thoughts drift to Han Solo again

_I love you._ She told him silently.


	13. Rei'yla

**It feels like absolutely ages since I've updated. But here it is.**

**Random note - The 'Ord' in 'Ord Zehmli" comes from 'Ord Mantell'. The word 'Zehmli' means 'Awesome' in Azerbaijani. I just looked up 'awesome' on google translator until I found a good word :)**

**Thanks SO SO SO much for all the reviews! **

**PLEASE PLEASE PLEAE Review! It means a lot to me :)**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, I would have no need of fanfiction writing because it all would have happened in the movies :)**

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><p>Leia was on her sixth cup of kaf when the instruments started beeping. Leaning forward, she saw that they were coming out of hyperspace in a few minutes. Within moments, she was out of the cockpit and back in the lounge where Chewie and Lando still snored, shaking Chewie's shoulders frantically. "Chewie! We're nearly at Ord Zehmli!" He groaned, and she stepped back, knowing how much the Wookie hated being woken up. Sure enough, he exploded out of the chair, howling and waving his arms around violently. Finally, his gaze focused on Leia.<p>

"What's happening?"

"We're coming out of hyperspace in a few minutes." She informed him. "I really doubt that I'm going to be able to land this ship by myself."

He stumbled past her towards the cockpit. "Wake him up." He ordered as he disappeared around the corner.

She walked over to where Lando sat, his forehead firmly planted on the table, trademark cape crooked. She appraised him for a moment, hands on hips, before deciding that the situation called for more desperate measures. If he hadn't woken up at Chewie's roaring, why would he wake up for her shouting? Marching into the kitchen, she grabbed a mug of ice - cold water and dumped the contents unceremoniously onto Lando's head. He woke with a start. "Wha –"

"We're nearly here. Get up." She yelled, going to strap herself into the navigator's seat. Lando stumbled in a few seconds later, falling into the pilot's seat. Cape askew, hair wet and plastered to one side of his head, blinking water out of his eyes, she could hardly believe that this was the same suave, charming man she had met on Bespin just a month ago.

"Here we go." Chewie growled. He and Lando frantically pressed buttons, and the stars that rushed by slowed to a crawl. A smallish, red planet hovered in front of them. She assumed it was Ord Zehmli.

She felt a sudden increase in the nerves that had been present ever since she had woken up from the dream. Leia curled her fists, digging her nails into her palms, as she got herself under control, trying to dismiss the fear. _But you felt like this right before Bespin, although that was worse,_ she told herself. _It's probably nothing._ The thought didn't stop her hand going to the blaster at her side though.

The small ship entered the Ord Zehmli atmosphere. The comm crackled to life. "Ord Zehmli Spaceport to unidentified Corellian YT – 3000. Do you have a landing permit?"

To Leia's surprise, Lando punched some buttons. "Transmitting now."

A pause, then, "Sky Hawk. You have permission to land in docking bay 129."

"Sky Hawk?" Leia whispered.

Lando covered a huge yawn. "Well, we couldn't exactly have told them we were the _Millennium Falcon_, could we?" He mumbled. She shrugged in agreement.

"Lando, engage landing thrusters." Chewie ordered. They were close enough to the spaceport that she could see the city surrounding it quite well. A sprawling mess of buildings, ships and various transports nearly blended in with the red rock that covered the ground as far as she could see.

Leia raised her eyebrows. "Lovely place."

Lando grunted something unintelligible. Chewie growled, "It's not as bad as Mos Eisley on Tatooine. That was where we met the kid."

Leia grimaced. "Remind me never to go there."

"We may have to. That's the closest spaceport to Jabba."

She set her jaw. "Then let's get him back before then."

* * *

><p>The Spaceport was even more crowded than a market place on Coruscant. The buildings looked no more organized on the ground than they had from the air, and there were more species of aliens than Leia had ever seen in one place before. She struggled to keep up with Chewie, who was tall and menacing enough that he had not trouble getting through. Lando staggered along behind them, slightly drunk and still wet from the water she had poured over him.<p>

Chewie grabbed her arm and pulled her closer to him so he could growl in her ear. "Doesn't look like Lando will be much help for a little while."

She shook her head. "Do you know who these people who owe him favors are?"

He shrugged. "Lando said that we would find them in there." He nodded towards a bar on the about a hundred meters away. Leia raised an eyebrow as a couple of aliens stumbled out and vomited.

"You know, I used to hang out with respectable people, in respectable places."

He chuckled. "So did I, before I owed a life debt to the cub. Blame him."

"Oh, I most certainly do." She replied wryly, looking around. The princess tensed momentarily as she felt a flicker of danger in the back of her mind, but it passed quickly and, like her nerves earlier, dismissed it. There was bound to be plenty of danger here – it was probably nothing. Chewie noticed her looking.

"What?"

She shook her head and changed the subject. "Where's Lando?"

As if on cue, the slightly hung over ex – administrator appeared on her other side. He squinted at them. "She should be in there." He pointed at the bar they were heading towards.

Leia shot him a glance. "She?"

"An old… friend."

She snorted. "Well, this should be entertaining. Can we trust her?"

He grimaced. "I think so."

Leia rolled her eyes slightly. Where had she heard _that_ before? "It'll have to be good enough."

* * *

><p>The bar was crowded, loud and dark. Near the bar, two Mokusk creatures were engaged in a heated fistfight. The others around them ignored the brawlers, concentrating on their drinks and gambling. Chewie led them over to a booth at the back of the room.<p>

Lando looked around the bar. "Ah, there she is!" He stood up again, and made a beeline for one of the tables at the other side of the room. Leia nearly smiled at his disheveled appearance.

Chewie growled uncomfortably. "I hope this woman wants to help us. I want to get out of here as soon as we can."

Leia nodded. "I've had this feeling that something's wrong ever since I woke up this morning." She replied in a low voice.

Chewie fiddled with the edge of the table. "Are you –" He broke off as Lando reappeared next to them with a tall, curvy brunette in tow. He beamed at them as he ushered her into a seat.

"This is Rei'yla." He told them, taking a seat. "She says that she may possibly be able to help us."

Rei'yla nodded, smiling sexily at Lando. "Pleased to meet you." She told them, her voice husky and soft; with a hint of an accent that Leia couldn't quite place. "I have to see, I was very surprised to see Lando Calrissian here on Ord Zehmli." She continued. "Not since he became so grand running his big city on Bespin.

Lando chuckled. "I gave that up a little while ago." He told her. "Got too boring for my taste."

She raised an elegant eyebrow. "Oh, so are you smuggling again?" Leia noticed that her eyes were a very dark green, almost black in the dim lighting.

"Of a sort." Lando gave her a flirtatious look. Leia exchanged a despairing glance with Chewie.

Rei'yla opened her mouth to speak again, but Leia cleared her throat and looked at Lando pointedly. He seemed to remember why they were there and blushed.

"Oh – right." He stuttered. "Um. Well, Rei'yla, we were wondering if you could give us some information."

She rested her elbow on the table and put her chin on the back of her hand. "Oh?"

He nodded. "We need to know if Boba Fett and the _Slave I_ have come through here recently."

"They might have." She narrowed her eyes. "It all depends. How much do you want to know?"

Leia leaned forward. "_Very _much."

Rei'yla smiled coldly. "How much is very?"

Instead of answering, Lando pulled out a credit chip and placed it on the table. She picked it up, rolling it through her fingers. "I guess you don't want to know enough. Too bad."

Leia let out a low growl and shoved a small pile of credits towards her. "Better." The other girl told her. Leia raised an eyebrow at her.

She let out a sigh. "All right." Rei'yla leaned towards them. "The _Slave I _came though here about a week ago."

"Did he have anyone with him? Where did he go next?" Chewie growled. Lando translated for their companion, who smiled.

"I may know." Leia pushed more credits at her. "He didn't have anyone with him."

"What about where he was going? Do you know?"

"Ord Mantell."

Lando cursed quietly to himself. Leia winced. "He's trying to throw us off by going everywhere else before Jabba." Chewie growled.

"Can't we just skip this and intercept him when he gets there?" Leia asked.

"The fortress is way to heavily guarded. It would be easier if we could do this before he arrived."

Rei'yla watched this exchange with barely disguised curiosity. Looking at her, Leia suddenly felt that it was urgent that they get out of there now. She leaned over and muttered to Chewie, "We need to get out of here."

He repeated this to Lando, who looked surprised. "Why?"

Leia scanned their surroundings for danger. "Just a feeling."

Lando frowned, but made to stand up. "Well, thank you very much, Rei'yla. From all of us. I hate to leave so soon, but we really need to be going."

Rei'yla glanced at him. "Not so fast, Calrissian." Before they could react, she was on her feet, her blaster pointed straight at Chewie. "I wouldn't move." She told the two humans, who had shot up, hands reaching for blasters. "Unless you want him dead."

Leia swallowed. "What do you want?"

Her smile was as warm as Hoth. "Just the Wookie. As soon as I have him, you two are free to go."

Lando's voice was steady. "Why do you want him?"

The other girl shrugged without taking her eyes off them or her blaster away from Chewie. "The bounty on him is still very high, you know." She purred. "Yes, I do know who he is. Although Fett has captured the legendary Han Solo, I can still fetch a very high price for Chewbacca here."

Leia fingered her blaster under the table, pulling it slowly out. Before the brunette could react, he had it out and pointed straight at her. "Let him go."

The princess saw a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes, but it was quickly replaced by scorn. "The second you pull that trigger, the Wookie dies."

"Isn't he more use to you alive?" Leia asked. She didn't really know what she was saying, her mind working overtime to figure out a way to get out of here. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Lando just staring, dumbfounded, at the drama unfolding in front of him. She ground her teeth. It seemed like they had been in this position before because of Lando.

Behind Rei'yla, Leia could see another group of brawlers moving closer to them. An idea flickered in the back of her mind. If she could just keep talking for another minute…

"He still has a lot of worth to me dead." She sneered. "And I know you wouldn't want me to kill him."

Leia tensed, her eyes flicking to the brawlers who were suddenly just behind Rei'yla. Lando's 'friend' caught the look, but before she could react, a huge fist slammed into the back of her head, and she fell to the ground, blaster flying across the room. Chewie took advantage of the confusion to grab hold of Leia and pull her around the crowd and towards the door with him. "Nice, cub. Let's get out of here." He growled in her ear. Leia nodded, twisting around to find Lando. "Where's Lando –" she started to say, before something slammed into her side and sent her flying into the wall, her head slamming against it. The last thing Leia remembered was Chewie's startled roar before everything went dark.


	14. Ord Zehmli

**Hi all! Chapter 14 is up. This chapter switches around POV's a lot - Leia's unconscious so the it would have been very boring if I had done the entire thing in her POV. Also, the return of Zara and the other rebels :)**

**Thanks SO much for the reviews!**

**PLEASE review! I will give you virtual chocolate :)**

**Disclaimer: My name isn't George.**

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><p>"Cub!" Chewie roared as Leia's small body flew into the wall. He leaped forwards to try and grab her, catching her as she slid to the hard floor, completely unconscious. Touching the back of her head with one huge paw, he swore as it came away covered in blood. Hoisting her in his arms, he ran out of the bar.<p>

Lando appeared moments later, stumbling out of the bar, looking even more disheveled than he had earlier. His brown eyes widened when he saw Leia. "Chewie! What happened? Is she…"

"She's unconscious." Chewie growled. "We need to get her back to the _Falcon._"

Lando nodded, looking nervous. "Come on." They ran, shoving people roughly out of the way. Ignoring the shouts of protest and general wake of destruction, the pair reached the _Falcon_ in record time. Lando ran towards the cockpit while Chewie deposited Leia gently on Han's bed. Terror welled up in the Wookie for her. He was supposed to protect Leia, and he had failed. _She's gonna be all right,_ he thought to himself, trying to calm the panic, but one look at her was enough to banish it. She didn't look good. Her face was white, and she didn't move at all. Feeling the engines start to throb to life beneath him, he turned and ran after Lando.

* * *

><p>Lando Calrissian cursed himself as he slid into the pilot's seat. How the <em>hell<em> could he have been stupid enough to trust Rei'yla? He should have known she would try something like that. And now, Leia was seriously injured. All because he had been stupid enough to put his trust in the wrong person. Guilt washed over him, making him feel sick to his stomach. Wasn't that exactly what Han had done? _Yeah, Calrissian, _he thought bitterly. _You've really screwed things up again, haven't you? Every time one of your friends trusts you, you screw up and someone ends up injured._

He pressed a few buttons and felt the engine come to life beneath him. A few seconds later, Chewie burst into the cockpit and threw himself into his huge, wookie – sized chair, pressing buttons before he had even sat down completely.

"How's she doing?" Lando asked him quietly. His friend – if h still wanted to be called that after this – shook his head without looking away from his work.

"We need to get her back to the Alliance." He growled urgently. Lando swallowed. It was that bad?

"Plotting hyperspace jump now." He replied, trying not to let his voice betray his panic.

"All right. Taking off now." Chewie replied. Just as the ship began to leave the ground, the radio crackled to life. "Sky Hawk. You do not have clearance to leave. Please return to the ground now!"

With a low growl, Lando reached forwards and slammed the radio off. "We will be making the jump to hyperspace in one minute." He told Chewie, who nodded. Glancing down, he saw the city grow smaller beneath them, blending in with the red rock it was built on. The nav'computer beeped at him. He bit his lip.

"Alright Chewie, let's get out of this hell hole."

* * *

><p><em>Pain. Torture droids. A dark figure, towering over her. Han's face, laughing, grinning, twisted in pain. Alderaan. Father. Luke. Chewie.<em>

_Her thoughts whirled in the darkness, blurred images flashing through her mind, echoing noises loud in her ears. Always pain. Han's screams. The red glow of the carbon freezing chamber. The stormtrooper on the Death Star, shoving her to the ground, his hands on her as she struggled not to scream. Luke's face for a split second, telling her that they would get Han back. Han's eyes locked with hers._

_"I love you."_

_"I know."_

* * *

><p>Mon Mothma sat behind the desk in her small office, staring into space. All was well with the Rebellion – as well as it could be while on the run from the Empire and with one of her most trusted leaders off somewhere with a couple of smugglers on some mad mission. There had been a huge increase in the numbers of new recruits, and the Trar'ya of the Treeya system had just gifted them two new squadron's worth of x – wings. Her thought kept returning, however, to said trusted leader of on her mad mission.<p>

The Alliance commander winced visibly at the thought of the princess. She still couldn't believe that Leia, the brilliant, calm leader, who reminded her of her in a lot of ways, had fallen for that no good smuggler. Even she had to admit to herself that Solo had his uses, but 'Consort of the Last Princess of Alderaan' was most certainly not one of them.

Groaning, Mon Mothma put her head in her hands. She had to know what exactly had happened on that three – month trip, what had changed Leia from the sharp but young senator she had known for years to this strong –willed adult. But there was no one left who could tell her.

A thought struck her so suddenly that her head snapped up. Maybe there was still someone. She pressed her comm.

"Rieekan here."

"Carlist, it's me. Do you have any idea where I might find the droid C – 3PO?"

* * *

><p>Zara Merich was examining their medical supplies when a slight cough from behind nearly made her jump out of her skin. Recovering herself, she spun around quickly. To her total surprise, Luke Skywalker stood there. She gulped. With the exception of Leia, and during medical duties, she had never been comfortable talking to the higher ups, and Luke Skywalker was well – known as one of the heroes of the rebellion.<p>

He studied her cautiously. "It's Zara, isn't it?"

She nodded. He continued. "I notice saw that you became very close friends with Leia after her return."

She nodded again nervously. What was he trying to say?

"She spoke very highly of you." Luke continued.

"Um…"

"Well, you have probably heard that I am a Force – user."

She blinked in surprise at the sudden subject change. "Yes…"

"I can sense Leia through the Force. I… I think she's been injured."

Zara cursed to herself, forgetting that Luke was standing there for a moment. When she looked back up, he was staring at her. "Uhh… My apologies, Commander Skywalker. Do you know how badly?"

He shrugged. "Its just Luke. And it must be pretty bad, if I can sense it. Just wanted to say that maybe you should get your medical supplies ready."

"I will." Finally, something medical related, something that she could talk about without getting nervous.

For the first time, he grinned at her. "Thanks." He left the room as quietly as he had come in.

Zara stood there for a moment in shock. _That was… weird, _she thought to herself, before remembering that she had things to do, and threw herself back into her work.

* * *

><p>Lando watched Leia's white face as she lay on Han's bed, perfectly still. Only the slight movement of her chest told him that she was unconscious and not dead. They had left Ord Zehmli hours ago now, and she hadn't showed any signs of waking up. He and Chewie had tended to her head wounds as best as they could, but the <em>Falcon<em> only had limited medical supplies. Their only hope right now was to get her back to the Rebels as soon as possible.

He and Chewie had been taking turns to watch her ever since they had gone into hyperspace. They had barely spoken, and Lando had pretty much decided to stay out of his way as much as possible. He knew that the wookie would be furious, not just at Lando but at himself. Wookies took their life debts _very_ seriously, and Han had told him to look after Leia, which, at least to Chewie, he had totally failed in doing.

The ship lurched, and Lando was just able to grab onto Leia's arm in time to stop her from going flying off the bed. Once she was steady, he raced into the cockpit.

"What the – Oh." A horrible realization dawned on him as he looked out of the cockpit window and realized that they weren't in hyperspace anymore. He covered his face with his hand. "We didn't…"

Chewie's growl was beyond grim. "I'm afraid we just lost lightspeed."

* * *

><p><em>The images had started to slow, becoming scenes, memories, conversations, rather than a mad jumble. She was nine again, sitting next to her father as he teased her, and laughing madly at something he had said. His smile lit up his whole face. Then she was sixteen, when Winter had convinced her to go out dancing, and they got slightly drunk, but she remembered everything clearly. On their way home, staggering all over the road in the moonlight, and laughing so hard that they cried. Then she was grinning madly at Han and Luke, right after the Death Star had been destroyed, and wondering why she was so elated that Han had come back. His crooked grin.<em>

_The scene changed again. Now she stood in front of Han in the South Passage, screaming at him. "I can arrange that! You could use a good kiss!" He shouted, storming off. Him backing her against the wall of the Falcon, taking her hand and telling her she was trembling. "I am a nice man." "No you're not. You're a –" Then his lips met hers, and the passion, she never wanted to let him go –_

_Then she was back on Cloud City, the night they spent there, when he had made love to her, and it was the last time she had been happy. The Carbon Freezing chamber, once again, his lips pressed to hers, the stormtroopers dragging him away, towards the platform, and all the while, Vader looked on –_

_Back on the first Death Star. Han was gone. The torture droid floated towards her as she watched in abject terror. Then Alderaan, as it exploded into a million fragments, and her entire life was gone…_

* * *

><p>Wedge Antilles stood in the briefing room, watching as General Rieekan and General Dodonna briefed the Rogues on their next mission. Mon Mothma stood nearby, but it was fairly obvious that her thoughts were elsewhere. Luke, who stood on one side of him, looked preoccupied too; he kept looking towards the hanger bay and his comm, as if he was expecting someone. On his other side, Wes and Hobbie were paying attention to the briefing – kind of. They had just finished when Luke's droid – or Leia's, they were always arguing about that – 3PO shuffled into the room.<p>

"Commander!" He said brightly to Mon Mothma. "General Rieekan informed me that I could be of service to you. As you probably know, I am fluent in over –"

"Yes, I am well aware of your talents, 3PO" Mon Mothma cut in exhaustedly. "Could you please join me in here for a moment? I am in need of some… assistance." Gesturing at a side door, she looked back at the two generals. "Carlist, Jan, if you are done here, could you please join us." She swept out of the room, Rieekan, Dodonna and 3PO following.

Wedge, Wes, Hobbie and Luke stared at each other. "What do you suppose their talking about?" Hobbie whispered.

"No idea. But why do they need 3PO?" Luke asked incredulously.

Wes grinned. "Anyone else thinking what I'm thinking?"

He grinned back. "There is another spare room, well, closet really, next to that one…"

"Perfect." Wes declared.

"Guys, I really don't think…" Luke whined. The other three Rogues grabbed him by the arms.

"Yes you do." Hobbie assured their commander as they practically dragged him around the corner.

* * *

><p>Chewie entered the room just in time to see Lando climb out of the engines, shaking his head. "No luck?" The Wookie asked, resigned.<p>

Lando shook his head. "I guess we will have to fix it properly when we get back to the fleet. Assuming they give us supplies."

"How long will it take?"

Lando winced. "Ten days. That's the best we can do."

Chewie let out a very long string of swear words.


	15. Eavesdropping

**Sorry this took so long - I have been traveling for the last coupe of days, but I have internet now. Yay! I am happy.**

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**Disclaimer: If I owned Star Wars, there would be way more Han/Leia. But I don't.**

* * *

><p>Chewie watched the princess from the doorway. She still lay completely still, as she had ever since they had left. Had it not been for the fact that the sheet moved slightly with every breath, he would have thought that she was dead. Her pretty face was whiter than the pillow she lay on. The wookie mentally kicked him self for the millionth time since that fight on Ord Zehmli. <em>Han would kill me if he knew, <em>he thought to himself soberly. He had failed. The one thing his friend had told him to do before he was frozen, and he had failed. If the medics with the Rebels couldn't do anything – but no. He just couldn't go down that train of thought. With a low snarl to himself, he continued down the hallway to the engine room.

* * *

><p><em>Flashes of light. Distorted sounds. Fractured images. Faces flashed through her mind. Han. Winter. Chewie. Luke. Han again. Her father. Her mother, Breha. Carlist. Mon Mothma. Lando. Wedge Antilles. Wait, where did he come from? The part of her mind that was still vaguely lucid asked as Wes Janson and Hobbie Kilivian followed. Luke hanging by one hand under Cloud City. Han lying in bed next to her. Her mind seized that image and stopped. <em>

_Han rolled towards her. "Hey, sweetheart." He whispered._

"_Am I dead?" She asked him, confused._

_He stared at her. "Don't think so. If you were, why would I be here?" He asked. "I doubt that the afterlife looks like my cabin, anyway."_

_Her mouth twisted. "How do you know, nerf herder?"_

_He grinned. "I am very intelligent. Sometimes I even surprise myself."_

"_And you have the ego to go with it." She replied dryly._

_Han rolled over further so that he was balanced on his elbows on top of her. "But you like it." He drawled, capturing her mouth in a passionate kiss. She responded eagerly, wrapping her arms around him, pulling him down so that his body was neatly aligned with hers. One of her hands was buried in his hair, one of his on her cheek, the other on her shoulder. After a lifetime, he drew away, grinning down at her as they got their breath back._

"_How did you get here?" She asked as soon as she could speak again. "I miss you."_

_He shrugged. "Don't know. I think I'm still in the carbonite." Han gave her a look. "How are you here?"_

_She swallowed her disappointment, letting go of the hope that this wasn't her imagination and he was actually here. "I don't remember." She told him. "Last thing I remember…" She thought for a moment. "I think we were in a bar. There was a fight." Try as she might, she could not remember anything else about what had happened to her._

_Han scowled. "If Chewie let anything happen to you –" He broke off, kissing her again, gentler this time. All to soon, he had stopped, rolling off of her. She reached out to him. _

"_Please. Don't go."_

_He shook his head sadly. "I love you."_

"_I know." She heard herself whisper as the scene dissolved and she was plunged back in to the swirling images that occupied her mind._

* * *

><p>Luke crouched in the spare room – well, Wedge was right, it was little more than a closet – with the other three Rogues. All four of them had their ears pressed to the wall. He could barely make out their faces in the cramped darkness, but he didn't need the Force to feel the excitement rolling off them.<p>

"Guys, what if this is really, really, top secret?" He whispered.

All three of them made shushing noises at him. "Isn't that the point?" Wes whispered.

Luke racked his brains for other reasons to get his friends to listen to him. "What if it isn't anything important? What if someone comes in here?"

They glare at him. "Shut up. I'm trying to hear!" Wedge replied. "But I will be very disappointed if this is something boring."

Luke swallowed his protests and pressed his ear closer to the wall. The problem was, he did actually want to know what they were talking about in there.

Mon Mothma was speaking. "Now, C3PO, could you please inform us of your flight to Bespin, and of what happened there?" She asked, her voice crisp.

"Mon, is this really necessary…" General Rieekan asked her.

"Carlist, she refused to tell us more than the bare minimum." Dodonna told him. "I do believe this will be very informative."

Luke tensed. Beside him the Rogues tensed as well, but with excitement. He hoped furiously that 3PO wouldn't say anything that Leia wanted kept quiet – like, about Han.

"This is gonna be good." Hobbie's voce quivered with excitement.

"Of course. I would be happy to oblige." The droid said happily. "Now, as you probably know, Mistress Leia refused to leave with the rest of High Command, instead staring in the command centre with the others, even after it had been hit, which was quite brave of her, I must say, although I myself was quite terrified at the time –"

"3PO, please get on with it." Mon Mothma interrupted.

"Why, of course. Just as I was beginning to think that we would all be killed, Captain Solo turned up. For once, I was most pleased to see him, although he can be quite rude, and threatened me repeatedly to the point of switching me off at times during the trip, which was –"

"3PO. Please."

"Of course. Anyway, after much argument, Captain Solo managed to convince Mistress Leia to give the evacuation signal and get to a transport. I have to say they were most inconsiderate, and nearly left me behind. Unfortunately, on the way to the transport, a wall caved in and blocked the way, so the Captain took us to the _Falcon. _From there –"

"3PO, I do appreciate the detailed account you are giving me, but could you please inform us of events that Princess Leia did not explain in her debriefing?"

"3PO was there?" Luke murmured to the others. He honestly hadn't noticed the annoying protocol droid.

Hobbie shrugged. "Dunno, but this should be good. May be able to settle a few bets we've had going."

"Of course. The trip was fairly uneventful. I -"

"Could you tell us what occurred during Captain Solo's carbon freezing? What he did right before the freezing, perhaps?" Mon Mothma urged him on.

Luke winced. He knew where she was going with this. Could he still get the Rogues out of there before he said anything that Leia would want kept quiet. "Guys, I'm really not sure Leia would want us to hear this." He whispered quickly.

"It will be _fine, _Lukie. Stop worrying." Wes hissed.

"It would be my pleasure, commander." 3PO said happily. Prior to the Carbon Freezing, I had been captured, pulled apart, and found again by Chewbacca, who had not finished putting me back together at the time of the freezing, and was strapped to his back. Anyway, Baron Calrissian led us into the chamber with quite a few stormtroopers. Darth Vader was waiting for us. Captain Solo inquired of Baron Calrissian what was going on, and he explained the carbon freezing. At that, Chewbacca went quite wild, and I was most afraid for my life. He refused to listen to my protests, but Captain Solo stopped him. He told him, 'Save your strength. There'll be another time. The princess - you have to take care of her. You hear me?" Although I do believe that Mistress Leia has explained that to you."

"She has, but please continue, 3PO." Mon Mothma told him.

"It is my pleasure. Following that, he and Mistress Leia kissed –"

There was a crash as a chair fell over. "Solo and Leia did what?" Dodonna yelled furiously. Luke winced again.

Beside him, his friends began whispering furiously at once. "They _kissed?"_ Hobbie said.

"Woah. Never thought they would get past all the arguments." Wedge told them. "I can't believe it!"

"You guys owe me money!" Wes said happily. The other two groaned.

"Wait. You _bet _on their relationship?" Luke was shocked.

"Of course we did." Wedge replied as he and Hobbie handed credit chips to Wes. "I had my money on you and her, though." He peered at Luke in the near darkness. "Sorry. That must be harsh, hearing that."

Luke shrugged. "She told me a couple of weeks ago. Anyway, I had pretty much realized that she was more like a sister to me."

Hobbie was shaking his head slowly. "Solo and the princess. Wow. Just – wow."

"I wonder how far that relationship got?" Wes said excitedly.

Luke elbowed him. "Let's not. Now shut up. They've got Dodonna calmed down!"

It was true. Luke heard a scraping noise as he picked his chair up again. "I thought you were the one who didn't want to be here?" Wedge whispered.

"Well… I want to hear what happens next. Now shut up!" Luke ordered.

"Um… Please carry on, C3PO." Mon Mothma said.

"Certaintly, commander!" After that, poor, brave Captain Solo was dragged onto the platform to be lowered into the carbon-freezing device. Right before they lowered him, Mistress Leia told him that she loved him." At that, Luke heard a muffled noise of protest from Dodonna, but the droid carried on, oblivious. "Captain Solo replied most strangely. He just said, "I know" to Mistress Leia, which seemed most odd –" There was another roar of protest from Dodonna.

Luke grinned at the others. "Typical Han." He told them.

The others chuckled. Then Luke froze as he heard Mon Mothma's next words. "Thank you, 3PO. That will be all. Now, I must go get another datapad fro the closet next door –" Luke ignored the rest of her words as the four jumped up, nearly falling over in their rush to get out of the door. It wasn't until they were a good ways away from their hiding spot that Luke turned to the others.

"Not a word." He told them sternly. They couldn't hide their grins.

"Not until Han gets back, anyway." He heard Hobbie murmur as he walked away.

* * *

><p>Once again, Lando and Chewie sat at the game table, staring into their mugs. Lando was the first to break the silence.<p>

"How is she?"

Chewie grunted. "No different." Suddenly, he swore loudly, banging his huge hairy fist on the table. Lando jumped. "Why?" He roared, banging his fist on the table with every word. "Why did I not get her out of there faster? Why did we go into that bar? How could I have failed Han in the _one thing_ he asked me to do? Why?" He took a huge gulp of whiskey.

Lando looked away. "It wasn't you fault. It was mine." His voice was soft. "I should have known better than to trust Rei'yla." He took a good swig of his whiskey. "And I was drunk. I shouldn't have been drunk before that."

"Damn right you shouldn't have" The wookie snapped. Then he slumped in his seat. "Then again, I wasn't exactly sober either."

Lando had no idea what to say to that. Instead, he drained his cup and stood. "I'm gonna turn in for the night." Chewie nodded, not looking up as he left the room.

* * *

><p>A week after he and Mon Mothma had gotten the information about Leia and Han Solo out of the protocol droid; Carlist Rieekan lay in the med bay, getting his check up. The middle-aged man who was examining him consulted a datapad, and then nodded at him. "You're goo to go, General." Carlist smiled wearily at him. He was just getting up as his commlink beeped. "Rieekan here."<p>

"Not trying to sound like a jammed recording." Came Baron Calrissian's familiar drawl, "But can we have permission to land and a medical team?"

Across the mad bay, Carlist saw the young Lieutenant Merich tense and spin around. He nodded to her. "You have my permission." He told Lando. "We'll meet you there."

* * *

><p><em>One week later<em>

Leia felt the images begin to slow. The sounds became softer, and were replaced by familiar voices calling her name, pulling her out of the depths of her mind. Opening her eyes, she blinked at the sharp light. The faces above her slowly came into focus. Luke, Chewie, Zara, Carlist and Lando all stared down at her worriedly. Zara forced a smile. "Welcome back, Leia."


	16. Shadows

**Hey! I'm really sorry this took so long - I had heaps of homework :( Also, fanfic wasn't working for a while, so this is the reload of the chapter I uploaded this morning... If that makes sense. Anyway, enjoy!**

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**Please keep reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine. I am not making any money off of this. Actually, that would be cool - if we got a dollar for every hit... But you didn't have to pay... Still not sure if I'm making sense...**

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><p>One week later, Leia prowled restlessly around Han's cabin. Luke stood nearby, watching her, as he had been ever since he had arrived.<p>

"You should be in bed, you know."

She barely acknowledged him, continuing to pace. He tried again. "Leia, you need to rest. You won't heal any faster if you continue to exert yourself like this."

She spun on him. "Oh? Well, I feel _fine,_ Luke. I need to get back out there." He looked slightly taken aback at the venom in her voice, but she had already resumed pacing.

He didn't need to ask what she meant." The sooner you are better, the sooner you can leave to look for Han."

The princess snorted. "Yeah, like High Command will let me go that easily. Mon's been I here every day, telling me that my injury only proves that it was wrong to leave the Alliance, that he doesn't matter. I need to leave _now._ Not when they think I can leave." Abruptly, she stopped and flung herself down on Han's bunk. _Their_ bunk, she reminded herself.

Luke was silent for a minute. Leia stared at the ceiling. She had only spent three days in the med centre after waking up, before convincing the medics to let her leave. After some argument, she was allowed to go back to the _Falcon, _as long as she didn't leave and Zara came to check on her every few hours. It could have been worse – Zara refused to let the other medics in; giving Leia a welcome reprieve from the endless questions and examinations they always gave her. Actually, it was quite nice to have Zara around so much, but se still just wanted to be out of there.

It was fairly obvious that Chewie wanted to leave too, but he took Han's last request _very_ seriously. He was also beyond upset about what had happened on Ord Zehmli. Actually, so was Lando. It had taken her ages to get the full story out of them, what with Chewie hitting his head against the wall every few minutes, and Lando practically on his knees apologizing profusely at every sentence.

"What's she been saying?"

Leia turned her head to blink at him. "Who?"

"Mon Mothma."

"Oh." She turned back to the ceiling again. "Well, the first day, it was, 'Oh, Leia, I was so worried about you. I'm so glad that you have come to your senses and will not be going off on any harebrained missions!'" She laughed without humor. "Once I had gotten that cleared up, she started trying to change my mind. I have to say, she is persistent."

Luke gave a small grin. "She did not look happy after leaving the _Falcon_ this morning."

"I pretty much told her that she could take her opinion of Han and stuff it up her – well, I probably shouldn't repeat it. And there were several Corellian swear words mixed in." Luke laughed outright and Leia gave a small smile. "I'm not sure what she was more furious about – my defense of Han or my choice of words."

"Leia, I'm shocked. What un – royal behavior. You really need to start hanging out with a better crowd." He teased gently, before getting up and squeezing her shoulder.

"I need to go. You get some rest, ok?" He told her. She nodded, although she had absolutely no intention of doing so.

He had barely left the room before she was out of bed and headed towards the lounge and the kaf. She froze as she heard familiar voices at the ramp.

"I just told her to rest." Luke was saying.

"Good. I'll just go check in on her briefly." Zara Merich replied. Leia considered going back to bed and avoiding her friend's displeasure, but it seemed like too much work. Anyway, the kaf was nearly ready. Pouring herself and Zara cups, she sat down at the holo chess table. Soon, the medic was standing in the lounge.

"Leia? I thought you were resting."

"I'm tired of resting." Leia replied. "Besides, I don't always follow orders very well.

Zara rolled her eyes. "No, especially when it concerns your health." She grabbed a cup, sitting down across from Leia. So I take it you want to get out of here?"

Leia nodded fervently. Her head spun slightly at the sudden movement, but there was no way she was letting Zara know that.

She tugged the green streak in her hair gently. "With anyone else, I'd make them stay here another week. But I know you won't get any better fretting here."

Leia raised an eyebrow. "You'll let me go?"

Zara nodded. "As long as you promise me not to do anything to crazy, I'll even help you to convince Chewie."

Leia grinned at her. "Thanks, Zara."

She squeezed her hand. "Don't mention it.

* * *

><p>Chewie had taken very little convincing. Leia could tell that he was as excited as she was to be searching for Han again. After rounding up Lando, with help from Zara, they were ready to leave surprisingly quickly. Leia stood on the ramp as Chewie carried a box on board. "Chewie, is that the last –"<p>

"Leia! What are you doing?"

She turned. Mon Mothma strode towards them, looking annoyed. Leia raised her chin. "What does it look like we're doing, Mon?"

"You can't be thinking of leaving!"

"We are." Chewie growled agreement. Mon Mothma looked worried.

"I do apologize Leia, but I really can't authorize this. Do you understand?"

Leia gave her a chilly smile. "Of course we understand."

Mon looked relieved. "Good. Then I will see you later."

"What now?" Lando asked softly. She turned. He and Zara stood at the top of the ramp. Leia looked at them.

"We go anyway, of course." They grinned at her. "I'm just going to tell Luke that I'm going."

"Want me to come?" Zara asked. Leia nodded, and they left the others in search of her friend.

* * *

><p>Luke was in the mess with Wes, Wedge and Hobbie – all of whom went completely silent and traded glances upon seeing her. "Luke, I just came by to tell you that I'm leaving."<p>

His mouth dropped open slightly. "Already?" She nodded. He closed his mouth and looked at Zara for confirmation. She nodded as well. "I'm surprised Mon Mothma let you go."

She blushed. "Well…"

"She told them they couldn't get clearance." Zara interjected helpfully.

"So we're going anyway." Leia finished. The Rogues looked delighted at this blatant disregard of High Command orders. After a moment, Luke joined them.

"May the Force be with you then, Leia." He said. She gave him a quick smile.

"All of you, too. I'll see you in a month."

Zara's comm. began to beep at that moment. She cursed quietly. "Leia, we've got an emergency."

Leia gave her friend a quick hug. "Thanks."

Zara grinned at her. "Find him, ok?"

Leia nodded. "We will."

* * *

><p>Leia slid into the navigator's seat behind Lando just as she felt the ship leave the ground. Immediately, both her comma and the ship's radio came to life. She quickly turned the comm off.<p>

"Millennium Falcon. You are not cleared for departure. Please return to base now or we will be forced to –" Leia reached around Lando and turned it off. "Boring conversation anyway." Chewie gave her a strange look.

It wasn't until the ship was safely in hyperspace that Leia went back to her cabin, picking up the holo that sat next to the bed. Switching it on, she immediately focused on Han's face, ignoring the rest. There it was – the lopsided smirk, his green – brown eyes – she felt the familiar tears well up and tried to wipe them away with the back of her hand. It didn't work. She pressed one slender, trembling hand over her mouth, trying to keep the scrams, the grief, inside. She felt suddenly sick, pressing the other hand to her stomach. Her knees gave out, and she sunk to the ground, curling into a ball, rocking back and forth in her attempt to stop herself from screaming.

She still couldn't believe how much she missed him. If someone had told her that she would end up falling in love with the scruffy, rude, egotistical smuggler she had met three years ago, she would have personally flown them the to an asylum. Yet, somehow, over those few years, through all the arguments, something changed between them. She wasn't exactly sure when, but at some point she had realized that she actually _cared._ Even more shocking was the realization that he cared, too. They'd just both been too stubborn to admit it. That is, until he kissed her in the middle of the asteroid. The sobs that racked her small body grew more violent, and she had both hands over her mouth now in an attempt to stop loosing the last bit of her control. She remembered the last time she had felt such complete grief before Bespin. Han had been there for her then, holding her, kissing the tears away.

Leia dug her sharp nails into her face. Hard. The pain cleared her mind enough for her to drag herself to her feet, walking unsteadily towards their bunk. Slipping out of her clothes, she crawled beneath the blankets. She could still smell his scent on them, feel the imprint his body had made into the mattress. Clenching her hand into a fist, she cried herself to sleep as her heart broke a little bit more.

* * *

><p><em>She was running – she didn't know why, but she was terrified. Then she saw him. Han. He was covered I blood. She knelt down beside him, cradling him in her arms, calling his name desperately. He did not respond. The blood stained her white dress, turning it crimson. Rivers of blood made their way through the grass, then the whole world was flooded in blood, and she could see her friends drowning in it – Luke, Chewie, Lando, Zara. She woke up screaming.<em>

Leia watched them die countless ties that night – mostly Han, but her other friends as well. She lost track of how many times she woke herself up with her screams, but she was unable to break out of the horrible images taking over her mind as she slept. Once, when she woke, she thought that Han was there, but reaching out, he disappeared, and she was sucked back into her dreams.


	17. The Slave I

**Ok... There just isn't really an excuse for how long I've made you wait for this. I was attacked by Darth Real Life, Darth Homework and Darth Extremely Sick. Oh, and Darth The-Internet-Isn't-Working. All at the same time. **

**This chapter is somewhat shorter than usual, but the next one is in the works, so I promise it won't be more than a week away. **

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**Reviews are always greatly appreciated - I might just be able to get that update up sooner...**

**Disclaimer: Not mine and all that. Now, I will get on with the story.**

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><p>The days began to run together for Leia Organa. For three months now, she, Lando and Chewie had searched for Han, with no sign of him, Boba Fett, or the <em>Slave I. <em>It was as though they had simply vanished. Even she was starting to lose hope that they would find him before Fett took him to Jabba.

A few nights ago, the three of them had been sitting around the game table on the _Falcon, _staring silently into their mugs of alcohol after another fruitless search of a spaceport. Lando had been the only one who had broken the silence that whole night. "He's gotta take him to Jabba at some point." He had said miserably. "He wants that reward, and he won't want to wait too long for it."

They had agreed a while ago that the best way to get Han back was to do it before he was in Jabba's clutches. Leia barely knew anything about the notorious crime lord, but from what she did know, she didn't think Han would last long. But it was starting to look like they would have to attempt to get him back after he was with Jabba. Which wasn't exactly a comforting idea.

They had returned to base briefly about a month ago. Leia had spoken with Luke, Zara and Carlist, but had avoided every other member of High Command, who were no doubt still sore over her refusing direct orders not to leave. One of the few times Leia could remember actually laughing was when Carlist had described to her Mon Mothma's expressions of disbelief, fury and shock as the _Falcon_ had taken off without permission three months ago.

Allowing herself a small almost – smile at the memory, Leia reached over and turned on the holo of Han and Luke that she had found in her room. She hadn't been looking at it for long when she heard a frantic howl from the cockpit. Chewie. She wasn't sure if he was actually saying anything, but she was running out of Han's cabin door before the fact could register. Almost immediately, she ran into Lando. "What's going on?" She asked him quickly.

Calrissian shook his head and shrugged. They both turned and sprinted towards Chewie. Lando was only a step ahead of her as they charged into the cockpit, where Chewie stood, howling and waving his arms in excitement.

"What's wrong?" Lando panted, sliding into the pilot's seat and scanning for enemy ships before he had even finished talking. His dark hands moved frantically over the panels, readying them for the attack he clearly expected. Chewie was bent at a weird angle, the roof of the cockpit being to low for him to stand up properly in. Leia dodged his massive, flailing arms and moved behind Lando.

"What is it? Are we under attack?" She snapped at them.

Lando shook his head. "I don't see anything." He told her, confusion in his voice. "Don't know what's got him so wound –" Then he froze, jaw dropping.

"_What?" _Leia asked again, practically screaming now.

Swallowing, Lando seemed to get his voice back. "It's – It's…"

"The _Slave I." _Chewie finished.

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><p>For a moment, Leia stood completely still, frozen with shock. <em>Han. Han is on that ship. He's here. <em>The raw emotions crashed over her, waking her up. "What's he doing? Where are we?"

"His ship just dropped out of hyperspace." Chewie growled, sliding back into the co – pilots seat. "I don't think he's spotted us yet." Pointing out of the viewscreen, for the first time the princess noticed the small blue planet hovering in front of them.

"Is that Aspil 7?" She asked, barely able to keep the excitement out of her voice. The small, watery planet had been the next destination they had decided on.

"Yeah." Lando replied. He looked around at the other two. "I think out best option is to land, and try to get him once he's on the ground."

Leia winced, her stomach rolling over as she saw the other ship turn. "I don't think we have that luxury, unfortunately." She replied. Spinning back around towards the viewscreen, her companions both cursed.

Lando took charge. "Chewie, Leia, get to the gun turrets." Neither of them needed any further urging, both taking off before he had finished speaking. Leia settled the headset over her ears, gripping the controls tightly. Lando's voice crackled over the comm. "Aim for the guns and the engines. Do _not_ hit the actual ship. Just cripple her."

"We _know, _Lando." She snapped at him, hearing Chewie growl in agreement. Lando, wisely, shut up.

The _Slave I _had begun to move warily towards them. _Good, _Leia thought grimly, _at least he's not going to make a run for it." _The two ships drew graduallycloser together, to the point where Leia could see someone else sitting in one of the gun turrets of the ship. For a moment, the princess wondered who else was with him. She didn't think he would want to have company, considering that he would then have to share some part of the reward money. _Maybe a droid of some kind? _She was spared from thinking anymore by Lando's voice again.

"Now."

Leia quickly lined up her target on the control screen as a volley of gunfire narrowly missed the ship. She and Chewie both returned it immediately, but the other ship managed to out maneuver them. She cursed to herself, then grinned as Chewie sent a blast straight towards the other ship's gun. The _Slave_ moved to the side, but not quite fast enough – the bolt just scraped the side of the ship. Leia immediately fired again, having the same result as Chewie. Lando's voice came through again.

"Get the gun!" He sounded slightly panicked. "We're losing power on the rear deflector shields!"

Leia cursed again. _Han would be proud, _she thought randomly as she attempted to fire on the _Slave I. _Whoever was piloting that ship was good, though. After their first near hits, neither she or Chewie had been able to land a hit.

The ship jerked wildly. "What's going on down there?" The yelled at Lando through the comm.

She could hear him swearing. "Rear deflector shields down. He scraped us." A pause. "Chewie, I'm going to need you down here."

The wookie growled in frustration. Leia swallowed. Lando wasn't exactly a bad pilot – if he needed Chewie down there with him, then obviously things were worse than he had made them seem.

The princess carefully aimed and fired at the other ship. No luck. She started to growl in frustration, then stopped. Luke's voice seemed to echo in her mind. _Trust your feelings, Leia._ It was one of his most common Jedi sayings, but she usually ignored it. Now, though… Since Bespin, when Luke had called to her in her mind, there had been times where she felt more… attuned to her surroundings. She expected that it had something to do with the Force, but she didn't really know… Taking a deep breath, Leia, with some difficulty, relaxed herself. The change she felt in her was so sudden she was nearly jolted out of it. Every nerve in her body tingled, she was aware of everything around her and she could feel the energy of the other two people on the ship. An almost unreal sense of calm washed over her.

Locking her controls on one of the engines, she squeezed the trigger. To Leia's amazement, a moment later one of the engines exploded. She jumped slightly with shock, but it was enough to loose the feeling that had come over her. Desperately, she tried to get it back, but no luck. Her next shot went slightly wide, and it was enough of an opening for the other ship. They fired a quick round of missiles at the _Falcon –_ which Lando narrowly avoided – before turning around and jumping into hyperspace.

Leia sat perfectly still, hands clenched into fists. So close – they had come _that close_ to Han, he had just been on the other ship, so close to them. How could they possibly have failed them that time? She had hit one of the engines – why couldn't she had just hit the other one and crippled the ship? Ripping the headset off, Leia climbed back down the ladder and walked towards the cockpit. Lando and Chewie looked just as shocked as she felt. Lando turned to her, guilt etched in his face.

"Is there any chance…" She began, although she already knew the answer.

Lando shook his head. "Princess, I…"

Without waiting to hear what he was going to say, she simply turned and walked back to her quarters.


	18. Resolve

**Happy New Year, guys!**

**Yes, I know, It's been over a month since I updated. How many people even remember where we left off?" Anyway, my computer crashed, and I lost all of my work. Then I got writer's block. Then, I woke up this morning and wrote this chapter in about an hour. My muse is a little strange. **

**If I haven't already mentioned this, I have thrown the EU out of the window on this story, so you won't be seeing Prince Xixor or anyone else in here. **

**THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed! You keep this story going. PLEASE keep on reviewing - It's the only way I know what you guys think.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

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><p>Leia slammed the door to Han's quarters and slumped against it, gritting her teeth. Her stomach churned with anger, at Fett, at Vader, at Jabba, it mostly at herself. She blinked back tears of frustration and fury as she clenched her fists, nails digging into her palms. She leaned her forehead against the cool metal of the wall, closing her eyes against the waves of guilt and anger that washed over her, threatening to drown her. The princess slammed her fist into the wall, barely noticing the pain. "Kriff." She whispered, fist coming into contact with the wall again. "Kriff. Kriff. Kriff. Kriff."<p>

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a streak of crimson and stopped her attack on the wall, staring woodenly at her white knuckled hand, the red blood contrasting sharply with her pale skin. Letting her hands drop to her side loosely, injury forgotten, Leia glanced around the cabin.

She had failed again. Han had been _that close_ to her - they had practically had Fett's ship - until her stupid Force trick had ruined her concentration, and she had missed. She had almost gotten him back.

Suddenly, the anger was replaced by a myriad of emotions - grief mixed with guilt, frustration, longing, an terrible regret that seemed to suck all of her insides out, filling up her body. Leia sank down onto the floor, one bleeding hand clutching the side of the bunk, the other on her leg, and finally gave into the tears.

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><p><em>Her mind whirled. All around her, people were cheering, celebrating their defeat of the Death Star. But for her and billions of other people, it was too late. Alderaan was already gone, blown to dust by Tarkin.<em>

_She passed through the crowds, greeting people, offering congratulations, but she didn't see them. The cheers sounded like they came from far away, and they were morphing into screams, the screams of the dead Alderaanians that she'd killed –_

_"Leia, dear, are you alright?"_

_ A firm hand grasped her arm. Mon Mothma. Leia nodded, her mouth automatically making some excuse, while she scanned the room desperately for a way out. Within minutes, she had shaken the older woman off and was slipping through a side door near the dais where she had given out the medals._

_She couldn't remember the walk back to her rooms. The corridors were deserted, everyone celebrating. Before she knew it, she was stumbling against the bed, tears running freely down her face. The overwhelming urge to scream rose in her throat, and she bit down hard on her wrist, not feeling the pain as she drew blood._

_They were all gone. Her whole planet, her home, her friends, her family. All killed in just one push of a button. By Tarkin's orders, but because she hadn't told them where the rebel base was._

_Because of her. Because she had failed, he had killed them all. She had the blood of more people than anyone could imagine on her hands, and for a moment, she could see it, her whole dress stained crimson with blood –_

_No! Her mind screamed the word, but she knew that no matter how much, how loud she screamed, it would never be enough to bring them back. This wasn't just a dream. This nightmare, she wouldn't wake up from._

_Almost without knowing it, she had risen, stumbling over to the desk, where someone's blaster – Luke's – still lay. She picked it up, her shaking hands fumbling with it as she turned the tip towards her stomach._

_"What the hell are you doing!"_

_The voice came from behind, loud enough to jolt her out of her dream – like state. She froze._

_Strong but surprisingly gentle hands grabbed her shoulders, spinning her around to look into a pair of hazel eyes and the rough, handsome face of Han Solo. His eyes locked with hers as he one of his hands left her shoulder, gently pulling the blaster from her hand and dropping it on the bed before he gripped her wrist._

_She finally found her voice. "What are you doing in here!"_

_His eyes narrowed slightly in anger. "Your door was open. What were you doing?"_

_Leia could feel herself shaking. I thought I closed it… "Why do you care?"_

_His grip on her wrist tightened. "I care when someone I know is pointing a blaster at themselves! And that blaster wasn't set for stun."_

_She looked away. "Someone you know." She whispered. "Well, I wouldn't come to close at the moment, Solo. Everyone I care about, I've killed." Why can't he just leave me alone?_

_He frowned. "Hey, what does that mean? You can't think…" Comprehension dawned on his face. "You can't think they destroyed Alderaan because of you! Why would they…"_

_"How about, because I wouldn't tell them where the rebel base was?" She whispered, still not looking at him._

_She felt him freeze. It felt like an age before he spoke again, but the words were not what she had expected._

_"What did you tell them?"_

_She bit her lip. "I told them it was on Dantooine."_

_One of his hands came to grip her chin, forcing her to look at him again. "But they still destroyed it anyway."_

_His next words were even more unexpected. "It's not your fault."_

_A mirthless laugh rose out of her throat. "I was right there, in the command centre. I should have been able to stop it. But I just stood there."_

_"Leia." Maybe it was the use of her first name, maybe it was something in his voice, but she stopped talking. "They would have destroyed it anyway. Alderaan was too rebellious. They wouldn't have spared it, even if you hadn't been there." His voice was gentle; the first time she had ever heard him like that._

_Leia felt her shoulders beginning to shake. Without meaning to, she reached out and gripped his wrist tightly, the tears streaming down her face again. Wordlessly, he pulled her towards him, his arms wrapping around her waist as she buried her head in his shirt. Slowly kneeling, he pulled her down with him as she finally let out all the grief that she had been holding back._

_They sat like that for what seemed like hours, before she finally remembered ho she was, and who he was, and how long they had been. Abruptly, she turned away, trying to wipe the tears with her sleeve. He let her go, watching as she tried to get herself together._

_"Leia." Once again, her name made her turn._

_"Some things, you just can't control." He told her, reaching out and squeezing her hand tightly. "What you can control is what you do about them. Some people, they can't see how to do that, so they just stop. I know I haven't known you for very long, princess, but you are a hell of a lot stronger than that."_

_She nodded, holding his eyes for a moment, and then turning back away from him. He stood and walked towards the door._

_"Han." He turned._

_Leia took a breath. "Thank you."_

_Han's lips curled into his lopsided grin before he turned and left her quarters._

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><p>Leia awoke with a start, yelping slightly as her shoulder hit the hard metal bunk frame. She looked around, disoriented. Yavin IV. Han. Alderaan. The blaster, the despair. She looked around wildly as she tried to get her bearings. She was on the Falcon, not Yavin IV. Han wasn't there, Alderaan had been destroyed three years ago. She hadn't been pointing a blaster at herself.<p>

Frantically, her mind tried to grab onto the quickly fading view of Han's face, his arms around her, even before she had come to realize that maybe he wasn't so bad after all. But he was slipping away, the only thing staying clear in her mind those words he had spoken to her so long ago. _Some things, you just can't control. What you can control is what you do about them. Some people, they can't see how to do that, so they just stop. I know I haven't known you for very long, princess, but you are a hell of a lot stronger than that._

Pulling herself upright, Leia wiped her eyes, which stung from the tears. Taking a deep breath, she walked into the 'fresher to clean herself up. As she stared at her disheveled expression, the corners of her much twitched. "Thank you, Han." she whispered to herself, finally saying those words that her pride hadn't allowed her to say, all that time ago. She could get through this. They would go to Tatooine, somehow infiltrate Jabba's palace, and free Han. How they would do this, she had no idea, but they always managed it. Still smiling to herself, she picked up the washcloth.


	19. Tatooine

**Hey, look! I actually took less than a month with this update! Go me!**

**I will try to update every few days. I real want to finish this story before I go back to school in about 2 weeks.**

**This chapter is mostly a filler, before we get some action in the next chapter. Wow, I just realized that most of this is written from Luke's perspective. I don;t even like him that much!**

**Thanks SO MUCH for the reviews! They really inspired me to sit down and actually write. Please keep on reviewing! **

**Anyway, on with the chapter...**

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><p>Luke let out a small groan as he dropped out of hyperspace. In front of him was a reddish – yellow planet, twin suns just visible behind it. Tatooine. Three years ago, he had told himself that he would never come back there. <em>Well, that didn't last long.<em>

"Yeah, this is it, R2." He told the small astromech droid who had been his constant companion ever since he had joined the Alliance. Luke chuckled as his screen translated R2's beeps. "No, don't worry, you won't be sold by Jawas this time. Yes, I'm sorry, you will have to put up with 3PO."

A few days ago, the _Falcon, _Leia, Lando and Chewie had returned to the Alliance, long enough to tell him that they were going into Jabba's palace to get Han out. Much to Chewie's dismay, they had also picked up 3PO, whom he and Leia believed could possibly be of some help. What, they had no idea. The only plans they had made were to meet up on Tatooine, near Ben Kenobi's old home.

_Ben._ The old Jedi hadn't appeared to him since he had left Dagobah and Master Yoda. Luke swallowed the sudden lump in his throat. Even though he had only known him for a few days, Ben had been almost like a second father to him. _Father._ The lump was replaced by a sudden nausea, pain mixed with grief and betrayal. Ben had always told him that his father was dead, killed by the same monster that had murdered countless people, had Leia tortured and destroyed an entire planet full of innocent people. The same monster that now claimed to be his father. Ben had lied to him. So had Yoda. Luke felt another twinge of guilt as he thought of the ancient Jedi master, who had taught him for nearly three months. He had promised him that he would be back, and he intended to keep that promise. Just, he had to get Han back first.

Han. Although he had always tried to keep his heartless mercenary image, he had been one of Luke's closest friends, and he missed the smuggler's sarcasm and gruff protectiveness.

Thinking of Han brought him to Leia. If, three years ago, someone had told him that she and Han would fall in love, he would either have burst out laughing for hours, or shoved Han out of the airlock. And yet, over the last few years, he had begun to see something else in the pair's rocky friendship, deeper feelings that they both tried to hide with sarcasm and snide remarks. And although Luke had pretty much realised that he and Leia would never be anything more that good friends, he was, in fact, slightly jealous of Han Solo. Not just because he had Leia, but because Luke doubted that he would ever find someone that would care for him that much.

Ever since Leia's return to the Alliance after he three month trip on the _Falcon,_ Luke had seen a very different side of her than he had ever seen before. The leader that he and everyone else had always thought was so strong, so indestructible, had changed, and he had seen someone else a few times, nor the rebel princess, but a young woman who had been caused more pain in her first twenty one years of life than most people would ever experience. Of course, he had changed, too. He knew that since his return to the Alliance, he had been more withdrawn than before.

R2's insistent beeping finally brought him back to the present. "All right, all right!" He told the droid. "Prepare for landing."

The small x – wing shot down towards the planets surface, towards the place where he had grown up, and towards his friends.

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><p>Leia stepped off of the <em>Falcon<em> and into an inferno of heat. In most directions, except for a small building, all she could see was sand, sand and more sand. To the west, rocky mountains rose up out of the desert. Twin suns burned directly above her.

"Great place, isn't it?" Lando had come out of the _Falcon _behind her.

She nodded wryly. "I can't for the life of me work out why Luke would have wanted to leave."

"Neither can I. The women here are amazing." Changing the subject, he nodded at the small building. "That Kenobi's place?"

"Probably. Where's Chewie?"

"I think he's just finishing up some landing procedures. You know how fussy he and Han are about that ship."

"Ooh, I had forgotten how much I hate this place." Leia rolled her eyes as the fussy protocol droid clanked his way off of the ship. "Mistress Leia, will it really be necessary for me to join you in this frightful venture? After all, I am only a protocol droid, and not suited for this type of –"

"We may need a translator, 3PO." She interrupted. "You'll be fine."

"Oh! Well than, as long as I will not be in any very dangerous situations –" She saw Lando grin at this –" Than I am perfect for the job. After all, I am fluent in over six million –"

"Shut up, 3PO." Lando it seemed, shared Han's dislike of the droid.

"Well! Really!" 3PO muttered, but shut up.

The pair stood in comfortable silence for a few more moments. Despite her initial distrust of the man and her fury at his betrayal, Lando had become a good friend over the last couple of painful months. It helped that he had stopped trying to flirt with her.

Chewie finally exited the ship. "I think Luke's here." He announced. As if on cue, Luke's x – wing came into view and landed a short way from the _Falcon._ The small group hurried over to where the young Jedi was now unloading R2.

"Oh! Master Luke!" 3PO began to babble before any of the others could say anything. "I hope that you're journey was pleasant? Oh, I do hate this place. The sand does get in my joints, and there are many very unusual creatures here. Oh, I had forgotten how much I hate space travel." He stopped as R2 began to beep at him. "No, I will not be quiet, you blob of grease!" Luke rolled his eyes and led the others away from the arguing droids, towards the hut.

"So. You guys thought of a plan yet?" He asked by way of greeting as they walked.

"No, but we had better think of something soon. I mean, we can't exactly just charge in there shooting people randomly." Lando replied.

"Isn't that what we normally do?" Leia muttered.

Luke grinned. "You have definitely been spending to much time with Han."

They had reached the hut. While Chewie and Lando walked straight in, Luke paused just outside the doorway, an odd look on his face. Leia put her hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

He blinked. "Huh? Oh… I just… I guess I just never thought I would come here again." Leia could tell that he wasn't telling her everything, but before she could press him further, he smiled at her, walking inside. "Well, let's get started on that plan then."

She frowned. _Maybe it's just that the last time he was here, he was with Obi – Wan. Yes, that must be it_. Realising that Luke was now the one looking at her inquisitively, she followed the group inside.

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><p>Ben's home was nearly the same as it had been the last time Luke was here. Small, slightly cluttered, the only difference was a fine layer of dust over everything. Chewie had gotten out a rag and was wiping the small table down, sending dust flying everywhere. Leia coughed.<p>

Luke felt a lump rise in his throat. 3 years – was it only 3 years? I seemed like a lifetime – ago, he had sat here with Ben, trying to put 3PO back together as Ben tried to convince him to come with him to Alderaan. He barely could recognise the young farm boy, full of naïve dreams and ideals. But what bothered him the most, what he could never tell Leia or the others, was their conversation about his father.

"_How did my father die?"_

"_A young Jedi named Darth Vader. He was a pupil of mine, before he turned to evil. He helped the Empire hunt down and destroy the Jedi knights. He betrayed and murdered you're father._

Hah. His father had been Darth Vader. And he knew that Ben had known that. _Ben, why didn't you tell me?_ He asked, as he had so many times in the last few months.

But, as with every time he asked, he received no reply. With a sigh, Luke joined his friends around the table.

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><p>The bounty hunter watched as the small group walked into the old hut. He had seen Solo's ship come out of hyperspace, and had quickly followed it down to the planet. <em>Good. The wookie is with them.<em> Jabba already had Solo himself, but the bounty hunter knew that Solo's co-pilot would fetch a good price too. A very, very good price.

He glanced around at the ships. Apart from two arguing droids, there seemed to be no one else around. It was all very easy. Dispose of the humans, and bring the wookie to Jabba.

Beneath his mask, Bouschh smiled.


	20. Boushh

**Look! I updated in less than a week! Go me! It probably would have been sooner, but I had friends over for the last couple of days, and could only write at very weird times of the night when they were all asleep.**

**Wow, thank you for the brilliant reviews! PLEASE keep on reviewing! I love hearing what you think about this story.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine.**

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><p>"No, that's too risky." Lando said. "We could maybe disguise one or two of us as guards, but not Leia or Chewie."<p>

"What are you talking about?" Chewie growled. "Leia's not going in there. Han told me to look after her, not send her into Jabba's palace!"

Leia gritted her teeth. "Chewie, we have had this conversation before. I'm going in there with you. Besides, how exactly are you going to execute this brilliant, non – existent rescue plan without me?" She turned to Luke. "Please don't tell me you agree with him, Luke." She paused. Luke was frowning at one of the walls. "Luke?"

Luke held up a hand to silence her. "I'm not sure… I don't know…" He looked at them suddenly. "There's someone out there."

Lando frowned. "What? But… There's no one out here! Even for Tatooine, this is the middle of nowhere!" he glanced around the room. "Are you sure it's not one of the droids? They're still outside. Besides, how do you know, anyway?"

"The Force." Luke replied. "And no, it's not one of the droids. I can't sense non living creatures."

"Do you know who? Or what they want?" Leia asked.

"Han hasn't managed to break himself out, has he?" Chewie asked hopefully.

Luke chewed his lip, looking at Leia. "I'm not sure who it is… Not someone I know well, like Han."

"Well, there goes my theory." Chewie muttered. Leia saw his hand start to reach for his bowcaster, and realised that her hand was already on the hilt of her blaster.

Luke drew in a breath suddenly. "Whoever it is, I don't think they're friendly."

"No, I'm not." Leia head a deep voice behind her say.

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><p>Boushh surveyed the group in satisfaction. He had taken them completely by surprise. The four sat around a stone table. The female sat with her back to him, twisted around in her seat, a wary look in her brown eyes. The two men had their hands on their blasters. The wookie let out a growl, and he pointed his blaster at his head.<p>

"What do you want?" The female asked in Ubese. He felt a flicker of surprise at her ability to speak his native tongue – not many could, especially in this part of the galaxy. He also saw brief surprise register on the faces of her companions at the words.

"The wookie." He answered in the same language, inclining his head towards it. "Give me the wookie without a fight, and I'll let you all go without injury."

"And why would we do that?" Boushh's eyes narrowed in annoyance. Could it be that these people were actually attached to the huge beast? At the same time, he felt a grudging admiration for this female. Not many would have the courage to say something to a stranger with a loaded blaster pointed at one of her companion's heads. Glancing at her face, he realised that she was also quite pretty. _Maybe he could keep her around, for a bit. She could be fun…_ Boushh mentally kicked himself. He could deal with her later, once he had the wookie.

The bounty hunter lifted one hand, which had previously been clenched into a fist at his side, revealing a thermal detonator. "Does this give you enough of a reason?"

The dark skinned man smiled nervously, raising his hands to show that they were empty. "Hey, buddy, no need for that. Why don't we just have a chat –" He began to rise from his seat, and Boushh quickly pointed his weapon at his head. "Sit down. I'm taking the wookie. Be glad I'm not going to kill you as well."

"Actually…" Before Boushh could react, his thermal detonator and blaster had flown out of his hand, as if some invisible person had grabbed them and thrown them across the room, where they skidded into the far wall. In an instant, the four were on their feet, the humans with blasters pointed at him, the wookie with his bowcaster. For the first time since he had set foot on this miserable dust ball, the bounty hunter felt a twinge of nervousness.

"Who are you?" The female demanded, still in Ubese. "And what were you planning to do with Chewbacca?" The wookie growled something in accompaniment. The dark man leaned over towards the blonde, whispering something in his ear. It seemed that he was the only one who could not speak Ubese. Although who could tell with a wookie.

"We're waiting." The girl continued, her brown eyes flashing in fury. "Start talking, or I'll put a blaster bolt through your head."

Boushh remained silent. The kid came towards him, grabbing his arm. In an instant, the bounty hunter, twisting his arm around in a way that was painful for both of them, had grabbed his wrist in a death grip. Using his arm as a lever, he had thrown the other man across the room in a move that should have sent him crashing into the wall, and snapped his neck. The female shouted his name in alarm, simultaneously firing two quick shots at Boushh, who just barely managed to dodge out of the way. The normally unflappable man felt his jaw drop, as if in slow motion, the kid flipped over several times and landed lightly on his feet on the other side of the room.

The bounty hunter stared at the kid for a split second, before launching himself at the group.

The short fight that followed was a blur. Before he knew exactly what had happened, he was pinned to the floor with a wookie holding him down. The pretty woman stepped forwards, a small smile on her face as she pressed her blaster to his forehead. "Sorry, but you can't have him."

That was the last thing Boushh ever saw.

* * *

><p>Leia drew in a slightly shaky sigh of relief as she stepped away from the now very dead bounty hunter. Lando and Chewie were immediately on him, rummaging through hidden pockets in his armour for various weapons. Luke knelt by his head, wincing slightly before pulling the mask gently away from his head.<p>

Leia bit her bottom lip. Her shot had blown out most of his forehead, and the top of his skull was mostly a mess of blood, flesh and brains. Luke swallowed, looking distinctly green. "I... uh… guess we'll never know who he was."

"He was Ubese." Leia offered.

Lando joined them, peeing at the head. "He looks familiar… Chewie, come here a second, will you?"

The wookie placed the last of an unbelievably large cache f weapons on one of the benches before crouching down with the others. "Yeah… I know what you mean." He growled back. "Boushh?"

Lando nodded, frowning. "Huh. Haven't seen him around for a while. Figured he'd been killed or was lying low."

"Who was he?" Leia asked.

"Boushh. Bounty hunter." Chewie replied. "He usually works more around the core planets. Wonder what he was doing out here."

"Does it really matter?" Lando asked. The other three looked at him in confusion. The dark man had a grin on his face, and Leia wondered if she should be worried. "I think I have a plan."

"Why do I have a bad feeling about this?" Luke complained.

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later, Leia stood in the middle of the living room, wearing Boushh's thick leather armour. The hapless bounty hunter – or what remained of him, at least – had been taken out side to around the back of the house by Chewie.<p>

Leia put her hands on her hips and turned to face Luke. "What do you think?"

It had taken Leia a few minutes to adjust to Lando's half – formed plan, but she was actually starting to quite like his idea. The plan lacked a few details – _like everything else except for her arriving at Jabba's palace dressed as Boushh with a 'captured' Chewie – _but it was a lot better than no plan.

Her friend scratched his head as he looked her over. "Pretty good. You'd need the helmet, though."

Leia wrinkled her nose. "Of course I'll need the helmet. I just want to clean it out first."

Luke picked up the strangely shaped helmet, squinting inside it before quickly putting it down on the table. Leia gave a small smile as she saw his face turn a very interesting shade of green. "Yeah, I see what you mean." He replied.

Chewie re entered the room. "We can bury him properly later." He told them. He looked at Leia. "Good thing he's the right size as you, princess." He told her.

Leia smiled at him, reaching out and squeezing one of his massive, hairy paws. "We'll get him back soon, Chewie." She whispered, a small smile on her face.

She turned towards the others. "Right, let's see what we can come up with."


	21. I Know

**Wow. We're nearly done with the story! Only one more chapter to go after this!**

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><p>The last month had been hell for Leia Organa.<p>

It had been six months since Han had been taken away from her, and although the whole time it had been hell, this feeling of excitement mixed with longing, grief and fear was new to her. The excitement at being so close to having Han back. The fear that their risky rescue plan would be shot to pieces. In their case literally. Leia smiled to herself grimly. _When hasn't one of our plans fallen to pieces?_

After hours of arguing, Lando had, under a false identity, gone to Jabba's palace to look for work as a "security guard". All she had heard from him were short reports every few days assuring the others that he was, in fact, still alive and working his way into Jabba's throne room. Leia just hoped that he didn't forget himself chasing after a pretty slave girl or a good sabaac game.

The worst part though was the waiting. There were times when she thought that she would scream as she paced Obi – Wan Kenobi's hut restlessly, looking out at the huge, flat desert and the twin suns. Trained to be a politician since she was very young, and having been one of the leaders of a rebellion against the empire, just sitting around _waiting_ for things to happen had never been part of her life. The days seemed to pass excruciatingly slowly, and sometimes Leia thought she would scream if the monotony didn't end.

She and Chewie had grown even closer since they had come to the desert planet. Both of them were stuck, helpless, while Lando attempted to get into the palace, and she knew that the Wookie missed Han nearly as much as she did. He could be annoying, though – Chewie had taken Han very, very seriously when he told him to look after her, and whatever she did, he insisted on honouring that promise. When they had sat at the table in Obi – Wan Kenobi's hut a month ago trying to figure out a plan, he had made it clear that there was no way he was letting her go in there without him. As irritating as having a huge shadow could be at times, she enjoyed the Wookie's company, and the two unlikely companions had spent hours talking. She had found out that Chewie was more than willing to share stories of he and Han's past, which she absorbed like a drop of water in the desert, even if they would sometimes make her miss Han all the more.

The pair had also, out of sheer boredom, gone back to the Alliance two weeks earlier for supplies. They had spent less than a standard day at the Alliance, as both Chewie and Leia were itching to get back to Tatooine in case anything had happened with Han's rescue. Although Leia had enjoyed seeing her friend – Zara had proved that she could always make her smile, even when she was most upset – they both had been very tense the whole time they were docked at _Home One._ It hadn't helped that they both had been trying very hard to avoid Mon Mothma, and any High Command members other than Rieekan.

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><p><em>The Alliance Fleet, Two Weeks Earlier<em>

"Leia?"

The princess turned, seeing a familiar girl in an alliance uniform standing behind her. She smiled, hugging her friend warmly. "Zara!"

The two girls separated, and Leia took in the confused and worried look on Zara's face. Before she got a chance to say anything, the other girl had begun talking.

"Is everything all right? Why are you back so soon? Where are the others? Have you gotten Han out yet?" She asked Leia rapidly.

A pang went through her at Han's name, but Leia just gave her friend a small smile. "We haven't gotten Han out yet." She sighed. "Lando's working on getting into the place where he's being kept. Luke's been occupied with his Jedi training, and me and Chewie were going a little crazy, so we came back here for supplies."

Zara nodded. "Oh. Does Mon Mothma and the rest of High Command know you are back?"

Leia shook her head no. "I spoke to Carlist on the way in. I imagine she's pretty upset with me after how I left the last time." Both girls smiled at each other at the memory of Leia, Lando and Chewie disobeying a direct order from the leader of the rebellion to go continue the search for Han. The Leia sobered. "I doubt she'll be very pleased when she finds out I'm here."

The young medic took Leia gently by the arm, leading her down the passageway of the ship "She'll come around. Do you want some kaff?"

"Definitely."

* * *

><p>Leia sighed to herself. She sat curled up on the bed in her room in Obi – Wan's hut, looking at the holo of Han and Luke that she had found months ago. Seeing his face, his laughing lopsided smirk, her throat constricted as it always did. Although she had managed to control her grief while she was awake, the nightmares were just as bad as always. Sometimes they were her recurring nightmares – Han's face as he was lowered into the carbon freezing chamber, Tarkin's cruel voice as he ordered his crew to fire on Alderaan, Han's screams as she was forced to watch him be tortured. Some nights her dreams were confusing and terrible – Her friends killed on the Death Star, blood, screams. Other times, she would dream of the most mundane things, like Han fixing the <em>Falcon,<em> or making a cup of kaff. Without fail, they always left her shaking and covered in sweat.

On the bright side, Luke seemed to be doing better. While still maintaining a strict silence on the months he was away or his duel with Darth Vader, he didn't spend nearly as much time brooding as he had. Her friend had taken to filling up his long days with rigorous Jedi training – going out for runs in the intense heat, meditating for hours, and working for nearly the whole time on building his lightsabre. Leia would watch him sometimes, and had to admit, he was becoming pretty good.

Maybe she, Chewie, Luke and Lando did have a chance at pulling off in this rescue, after all.

* * *

><p>Lando lounged against the wall at his post, looking for all the world like another of Jabba's thugs. His fellow guard, a large pig – snouted Gambedorian who didn't speak a word of basic, paced restlessly across the hall from him, swinging his club. The walls of the 'palace' were rocky and covered in slime, mould and other things that Lando didn't even want to think about. As with the rest of the building, the smell was overpoweringly disgusting, very unlike the posh mining city that he had grown used to over the years.<p>

The ex – baron reached up, sighing as he tried to wipe his face from outside the helmet he was wearing. Even inside, Tatooine was one of the hottest places he had ever been, or wanted to be. At that moment, Lando wished more than almost anything that he could just get the damn clothes off, but even he was recognizable enough that it would mean the end of their 'carefully thought out' rescue attempt if he were to be seen. Before leaving the others, Leia had also made him leave his cloak on the _Falcon,_ something that he had argued quite vehemently about, but eventually, she had won.

An abrupt clanging noise startled him from his thoughts. Recognizing it as the door down the passageway from them, Lando straightened up, looking more alert. The other guard stopped pacing, staring in the direction of the noise with his head cocked to the side in confusion. Lando decided that maybe the Gambedorian was more than a bit slow.

Within seconds, one of the more senior guards appeared around the corner, with his usual scowl on. He stopped a little ways off from them, his gaze swinging back and forth between Lando and the Gambedorioan like a man picking out the best blaster in a shop. Finally, he settled on Lando.

"You, there." The senior guard snarled at him. "Jabba's just fed one of 'is old guards t' the rancor. Take his place." With that he turned, stomping away again.

A mixture of excitement and fear leapt up in his stomach as Lando followed the guard, surreptitiously fingering the commlink in his hidden pocket.

* * *

><p>"Cub!"<p>

Leia, abruptly jerked from her memories, jumped as shed heard Chewie's excited roar from the main room of the hut. She jumped up, running towards him. Luke came out of another room just ahead of her, and she skidded to the side to avoid crashing into him.

"What's going on?" His hand was on his lightsabre. "Are we under attack?"

Leia shook her head; even after knowing Chewie for over three years, he hadn't managed to pick up on any of his language. "I have no idea what's happening, but I don't think it's anything bad." Not waiting for his reply, she continued into the room, where Chewie was holding the comm. "Chewie –"

He interrupted her. "Lando's in. We can go after Han now"

She threw her arms around him.

* * *

><p>Less than two standard hours later, Leia, Luke and Chewie stood as close to Jabba's palace as they dared to go, giving 3PO and R2 last minute inspections. While R2 was, as usual, excited to be doing something dangerous, 3PO was, also typically, complaining.<p>

"But sir!" He was saying now to Luke, who was busy installing his lightsabre into R2's hidden arm, "I really do not enjoy this dreadful place. The sand is quite irritating! And I do not understand why I am required to go into this palace. After all, I am only a protocol droid –"

Luke cut him off. "Which is exactly why we need you, 3PO." He addressed both droids. "We will see you very soon. R2, you know the plan." The smaller droid beeped happily at him.

"Go on, then." Luke smiled at them. R2 took off immediately. 3PO followed close behind, chattering about plans and sand.

The princess glanced back at Chewie. He reached out, putting a huge, hairy paw on her shoulder. Squeezing it briefly, Leia looked out over the wide expanses of desert.

_We're nearly there, Han. I'll be with you soon. I love you._

A voice seemed to echo in her head, so faint that she didn't know whether or not she had imagined it. _I know._


End file.
